Page 2 of Short Stack 3

“Henry said there’s more chance of him snogging King Charles than wearing someone else’s skates.”

“Exactly,” I say triumphantly.

“And Ivo said he’d rather cut his ankles off with a butter knife than have to do this.”

“Why does he get away with saying no to you and meaning it?”

“Because I don’t shag Ivo. I don’t have any leverage,” Dylan says patiently.

I consider that and grimace. “Fair point.”

“We’ll be fine. I’ve done this with loads of old boyfriends, and they were okay.”

“What about that time Neil fell in the hot dog stand?” Jude asks.

“That wasn’t on the ice. He just couldn’t balance on his skates.” Dylan shakes his head. “That tomato sauce gave me quite a turn, though.”

“I’m stepping onto the ice,” I announce. “I’d like you to know that I accept my oncoming death peacefully. It’s got to be better than listening to this story.”

I step onto the ice, and my feet promptly move away from each other in a manner that brings tears to my eyes, and I fall to the hard and freezing ice. “Ouch,” I say plaintively.

I look up. Dylan and Asa are at least attempting to look sympathetic, while Jude has tears in his eyes. I check for any signs of deep emotion, but I can only see hysterical laughter.

“Like Bambi,” Jude snorts. “Fucking hell, I wish I had my camera.”

“I wish you had it too, and then I could insert it up your rectum,” I say from my seat on the ice.

He breaks into merry laughter. “I alwaysknewyou were kinky.”

“Dylan,” I snap.

He waves his hand frantically. “I never told him anything,” he protests. “That was between you and me, Gabe. No judgement.”

I sigh. “Notthat, you twat. I need a hand up.”

“Oh.” He looks at Jude. “Let’s forget about that, shall we?”

“Well, you can.”

Asa laughs. “Come on. Let’s do a round of the ice before the rink closes.”

They zip off, moving fluidly over the ice and closely pursued by Asa’s teenage fans.

Dylan smiles down at me. “Come on,” he coaxes. “Remember what I always say?”

“Pick up your underwear because this isn’tDownton Abbey.”

He chuckles. “Besides that.”

I let him pull me up and immediately grab onto the side of the rink. “We try things, and if they work, it’s brilliant, but if they don’t, we laugh about it, and it becomes a funny story we’ll tell years from now.” I say all this in a robot voice, but I’m unable to stop my smile.

He nudges me and then grabs me when it sets my balance out, and I start to slide over. “Sorry,” he says and reaches up to kiss me. His lips are warm, his nose cold, and his scent weaves around me. He pulls back and rubs his nose against mine affectionately. “The fun is that we’re doing it together.”

I sigh. “Okay, but I’m picking the next activity.”

“Will it involve nakedness?”

“Yes, but also rather a lot of filing,” I say in a repressive tone.

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