Page 40 of Good As Hell

“Is that what won you over?” I quirk a brow at her, knowing full well I’m that last person she wanted for her esteemed son. I know Sadiq giving up his position for Lovie-Belle was a serious blow to the Al Rasheed dynasty, but to have Hassan marry a foreigner — let alone one with my perceived reputation must have been just as devastating. If not more so considering the circumstances.

“You accomplished all that you have on your own, my dear, with the way you love my grandson, son, and, ah — care for my beloved Hassan.” Her eyes are warm and somber as she says this, and I can’t help how uncomfortable and silly they make me feel. I actually thought there was hope for us. But after the other night there is nothing left but crushing disappointment where hope used to lie.

“Ah well, I guess we better get to work.” Plastering a smile on my face, I go face the people waiting for our help.

Time goesby so fast I barely notice the sun is setting until the people en masse all gather to pray.

Moving back a respectful distance, I watch them take their evening prayers listening to the lyrical words of the Imam.

When they finish, the people resume their places in line and the volunteers their work.

I’ve moved from helping pass out sundries to helping with the evening meal since most of the volunteers are also now eating. There is a commotion, then more security pours in with teams of seven.

My heart stutters. Biting my lip, I put on my serene public face, having long since taken off the mask the first responders insisted on when the queen and I saw there was no smoke, debris or dust on the plateau that houses the fortress.

I keep my head down as much as possible as I ladle soup, pass out meat, bread, and vegetables among the plates, hoping I’d be lost among the other volunteers and go unnoticed by the new royal arrivals.

I can tell by the way people’s tones become hushed and they sit or stand straighter that the king and his heir are approaching our area.

The queen stayed with the clothing, medicine and staples, but I moved among the people hours ago, going wherever I was needed.

Glancing up, I see the king walking among the people, patting them on their shoulders, giving them words of encouragement. Hassan is at his side. They don’t see me, and a feeling of relief shrouds me.

Thinking I can step away and get lost before he notices me I turn to Ada the head volunteer in this area to let her know I am leaving when I one of the citizens gestures towards me and the king and Hassan both turn startled eyes my way.

Their expressions couldn’t be different. A huge smile graces the king’s face as he nods in my direction. I smile and dip my own in acknowledgment, training my eyes on the task, knowing I can’t gracefully leave anymore but not before I catch the heard piercing stare of my husband.

I breathe a sigh of relief when neither of them comes in my direction but continue to mingle among the people.

I have no idea how long the queen intends to stay — it’s been hours and though I’d like to tuck Ayaan in I feel a deep sense a purpose being out among the people. It’s also well past his bedtime, so rushing back now won’t do any good.

Time ticks away and I don’t even let way Hassan glowered bother me. I focus on what I came to do — serve.

“Mother,says you haven’t taken a break.” The husky tones reaching my ears cause me to spin so fast I almost drop the sweet bun I was about to pass to a small child.

“Ah, well, time has a way of getting away from you when there is a lot to do.” I smile at the little boy whose arm is in a fresh splint, giving him the dessert.

“I’m good.” Alarm makes my voice thready when I see Hassan rolling up his sleeves and donning gloves to pass out food.

He stares at me for a long moment, his jaw ticking. “I know.” His gaze saying more than he ever will.

My heart twists and just as quickly I shove that emotion — foolish hope deep down into the darkest recesses I can find so I don’t do anything so dumb as believe he’s anything other than the monster he showed me last week.

We work in a companionable silence, serving all the people who want dessert and the deeply aromatic coffee provided from the palace.

“The queen herself oversaw the food provisions.” Ada told me earlier.

After a while, the line dwindles and we stand alone at the serving table.

“Are you ready to leave?” He asks, finally turning to me again, his eyes somber.

“I’ll go find the queen,” I say, moving to slide around him.

“Umm is gone. She worked herself to the bone. Baba took her with him before I came over here.” Dread settles in my tummy. Making a mental note to let Her Majesty know the rule of when we come together, we leave together. I allow her beast of a son to lead me through throngs of people to his awaiting car.

“Did you eat?” Hassan asks after we’ve been underway for a few minutes.

“I did earlier.” Not mentioning it was hours before when I was with Fi. I don’t want him asking after me, pretending he cares. I’ll see after myself the way I’ve always had to. Having learned long ago the people who are supposed to have your back don’t and the people who are supposed to protect you end up hurting you the worse.

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