Page 168 of Sumanika

"Tumhe bada pata hai unhe kya chahiye or kya nahi. Pichle ek saal me aath rishte thukra chuke hai vo. Jab se Mehrangarh ka yudh jeeta hai tabse aath rishte, samajhti ho kitne hote hai. Sabke liye mana kar diya hai unhone,"

"Oh, so you know what he wants or what now. He has rejected eight marriage alliances in the last year. Ever since he won the war of Mehrangarh, he rejected eight girls. Do you understand how many that is? He rejected all of them," she said, and I lowered my fluttering gaze, biting my lips.

"But I might hurt him more, or what if he doesn’t want me anymore?" I tried to ask, but she inhaled deeply and made me look at her.

"Rudra bhi yahi soch lete na ki, kya pata Nandani ko me chahiye bhi ya nahi or hume dard denge to aaj vo Ranaji bhi nahi hote, hamare pati bhi nahi hote, or Rudraja bhi paida nahi hui hoti,"

"If Rudra also had thought like you that maybe Nandani doesn't want me, or he might hurt me more, then maybe he wouldn’t be the King, nor would he be my husband, and Rudraja wouldn’t have been born either," she said, and I lowered my gaze with mixed emotions. She placed her hand on my chin and made me look into her eyes.

"Do you know what you want now? Do you have that clarity with you? Suman," she asked. I looked at her face for a few moments and nodded slowly.

"What is it?" she asked, and I bit the inside of my lips and blinked silently before answering.

"I want him, and I think more than wanting, I need him, Nandani. He is the one who can handle me and hold me together. I mean, imagine he made me insane for him. What kind of power does he hold over me?" My voice came out slowly, and she smiled at me.

"Do you love him?" she asked, and I nodded slowly.

"I do, and now I know why it happened—because I love him," I drawled. She kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek gently.

“Then it's worth fighting for, Suman. All he wants for you is to be happy and healthy. Prove to him you are happy and healthy with him, not without him,” she suggested, and I asked.

"How can I prove that to him? Nandani," my voice hoarse, a lump formed in my throat.

She smiled weakly. "When you’ve figured it out this much, you’ll know more, too," she answered.

"Bhabhisa,"

Hearing his voice from outside the chamber made butterflies flutter in my stomach.

I lowered my gaze and adjusted my dupatta as Nandani replied. "You can come in, Devarsa."

I shook my head at her, and she just smiled at me.

I turned around, hiding my face, and acted fixing the misplaced items when I heard him say, "It seems like Papaya needs her meal. She is crying a little and feeling irritated."

"Aaaeeeeeeettttaaaaaaaaa, aaaaaaammaaaaaaaaa,” Princess cried. I heard Nandani's anklet chime as she walked toward him, closer to the door.

I didn’t dare turn and look at him, knowing that if I gazed at him one more time, I would break into tears.

My heart sank deeper, and I glanced at my fingers, trembling and shaking.

I couldn't believe how and when I fell for him this hard. The closeness to him was overwhelming, as was the distance.

"Aww, my baby, why were you crying, hnn?" Nandani asked, and I heard the princess reply,

"Aaeeettttaaaaaaaattttaaaaaaaaaa."

I gulped and lowered my gaze when, suddenly, Nandani said,

"Suman, can you bring some warm water?"

I knew she did it on purpose. He wouldn't have noticed me there, but he knew I was present when she called my name.

I turned slowly, trying not to look at him, focusing solely on Nandani as I nodded.

I immediately tried to hurry out of the room, but not so fast that it would reveal my anxiety to everyone.

I was walking quickly through the gallery, my fingers fidgeting with the end of my dupatta.

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