Page 88 of Sumanika

“Are you making me regret it?” she asked in return, and I chuckled slightly.

"I am trying not to, but it's slowly slipping off my hands,” I said in a slow voice. She opened her eyes and looked at me. Our faces were very closed. We could feel each other's warmth. The night was evident in our secret, charismatic, chaotic meeting in the presence of fire.

The fire that brought us closer and transformed us into something from nothing.

But the distance remained. Many questions lingered unanswered, and somehow, I hesitated to answer them because something more significant demanded our attention.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked slowly, and I gulped nervously, nodding slightly.

She sat up straighter and brushed her braid aside before leaning her back against my chest once more. It felt even more comfortable now and drew her even closer.

“Have you ever hurt a woman, like breaking her heart or doing something she would never forget while toying with her feelings?” Her words unexpectedly made me smile, and I replied slowly.

“Do I look like someone who could do that?” She rubbed her nose against my cheek, shook her head slowly, and muttered.“No, but still,”

I kissed her jaw gently.“No, I’ve never hurt any woman in my life. Breaking a heart is more brutal than killing someone,” I said, and she smiled.“Why?”

I tightened my arms around her; the fire illuminated her face, and she appeared like liquid gold. She looked stunningly beautiful in my embrace.

“Because once you kill someone, they feel pain for a moment and then never feel anything again. But if you break a heart, it hurts for a lifetime,” I muttered slowly, and she kissed my cheek languidly. My gaze dropped with warmth, flushing my cheeks. A woman has never kissed my cheek, not even my mother in my memory.

"Does it still hurt?" she asked, looking into my eyes.

"What?" I replied.

"The heartbreak from the girl," she mentioned, and I bit my lips slightly. "Um, not much, but I lost hope for love after her. I feel like I don’t deserve it," I said slowly, and she chuckled a bit.

"Well, if that’s the case, then I don’t deserve it either, because I’m a woman who was married for eight years, then became a widow, and now a Prince's secret muse." I couldn’t help but chuckle.

"Muse?" I asked, and she laughed softly and nodded.

"Yes, a secret muse, but only when the heart is full of pain or in need," she said, and I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek against her.

"I’m sorry, but you know I can’t tell you about anyone. My relationship with Rashmika serves as my ticket to Mehrangarh. If anyone learns about you, it will all be lost, and we’ll be in trouble, Suman," I said slowly, and she took a deep breath against me. The coldness had seeped away with her warm presence.

"I know, and I don’t want anyone to know about us," she said in a soft voice, and my brows furrowed in confusion.

"Why?" She swallowed hard. "I’m a widow, and people will think I seduced you in this relationship if they find out. I mean, my name is‘Suman;’it doesn’t even sound like a Princess," she said, pulling her hand out from under the shawl to show me her palm.

“Look at my palm,” she gulped, pausing briefly.“The lines on my hand, the texture, the feel—all of it comes from my work as an attendant. It doesn’t feel soft; it can’t caress your cheeks. We’re not meant to be together,”

My heart sank deeper with the pain creating space, and I shook my head, bringing her hand close to my cheek and letting her rub it against my skin.“It can, and it feels like the most beautiful hands that have ever caressed me because that’s the only hand that considered doing something more than just…”

My eyes filled with tears, and my heart felt suffocated all of a sudden.

She straightened up slightly and looked into my eyes, which were filled with concern. She cupped my cheek gently and shook her head.“Did something wrong happen to you?” she asked slowly, and I chuckled, swallowing the lump in my throat. I tried to push the memory away as guilt and regret made me feel weak and disgusting.

“No, nothing,” I managed to say as she inhaled deeply, pressing her back against my chest once more. I closed my eyes, drinking in the comfort through her shoulder and neck. The faint red mark I had left was still visible on her neck.

She kissed my cheek and muttered,“You know, you ruined your life to save mine, so I will never judge you for anything. You are my savior, and to me, you are my God who saved me from the demons. You will never be wrong in my eyes—even if the world stands against you, even if you stand against me, you will still never be wrong for me. But it’s good to take your time,” she said slowly, adding after a brief pause,“I took three years to tell my best friend that my marriage was a failure.”

I smiled weakly. "You mean, Bhabhisa,"

She nodded. "Yes,"

A broad smile suddenly spread across my face.“Okay, so if she knew about us, would she have called me Jijaji?”

And she chuckled unexpectedly.“Kunwarsa,” suddenly, an attendee’s voice caught our attention.“Ji,” I looked in her direction.

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