And I couldn’t either. Tears streamed down my face, and after three months or ninety-two nights without a break, he finally grew tired of me. My stomach ached, and when I could no longer bear it—when my face lost its rosy hue, my berry-like lips faded, my eyes looked hopeless, and I seemed lifeless—he finally left me.
No! Not for my benefit but for his. He deserved better. He deserved someone who could smile, make noise for him, and keep him happy.
Clearly, I could not do it.
Over the past seven years, I had forgotten or moved on from every bit until today, when I realized I once again had a husband—not really a husband! But a husband—a half-husband, though.
But I couldn’t deny that he had rights over me somehow.
The pace and intensity of our interactions changed from before the incident to after, and I was afraid my heart was misinterpreting everything.
I didn’t know how to tell my heart that he was a prince and I was just a maid. Our backgrounds and castes were different, our clans were different, and we were different. He was my savior, and my heart—my foolish heart—was falling for his teasing words.
I didn’t realize it until Ranaji gifted me that necklace. It wasn’t the first time he had given me something expensive. He trusted me and always seemed happy with my work. He had given me gifts on Diwali, Holi, his crowning ceremony, Prince Ranvijay’s wedding, and several other occasions. I always loved receiving appreciation gifts, but it hit me harder this time.
It made me think of the distance between us, particularly the space between Kunwar Agastya and me. I had to hold back any emotions that might arise in my heart to avoid being hurt by them.
I exhaled deeply and crawled under my comforters, accepting his kindness and flirting in another direction. He was just toying with our situation. He had always been this way—never serious, lighthearted, joyful, and cheerful. Nonchalant.
But I hadn’t been that foolish. Had I really been this desperate for the last seven years? A man would start flirting with me, and I would fall for it? Urghhhhh.
Focus. Suman. Focus.
My sleep had been chaotic for some time and not peaceful at all. I hadn’t experienced that in ages.
I couldn’t recall anything from my dreams, but I realized I hadn’t truly slept at all when I woke up.
My head felt heavy, and I immediately tried to get out of bed to bathe. After my bath, I went straight to Nandani’s chamber, only to find that the trio—who had been just two yesterday—was sleeping peacefully: Ranaji, Ranisa, and their little princess.
I began my daily chores by cleaning the chamber and guiding the attendees and maids in the tasks they needed to complete. It wasn’t difficult because, over time, I developed an understanding of what needed to be done, and these attendees shared that awareness; I only needed to supervise them closely.
Reva ran toward me, her beautiful smile conveying the message,“King Abhinandan has arrived from Mahabaleshgarh.” I smiled, filled with joy and anxiety about the challenging moment ahead.
Three years ago, because of King Rajvardhan’s declining health, the crown was passed to King Abhinandan. However, something unexpected occurred, and King Rajvardhan did not survive. Mahabaleshgarh was still struggling to cope with that loss.
But he was in a better place now. If anyone had seen him in his last days, suffering and gasping for each breath, they would have understood that sometimes it’s easier to give up.
Not all wars are meant to be won.
I turned and returned to Nandani’s chamber to wake Ranaji and greet him.“Ranaji,” I called, standing far from his bed. The curtains were drawn, and I heard his deep, hoarse voice reply,“Suman?”
I lowered my gaze and informed him,“King Abhinandan has arrived at the borders of Suryagarh.” He immediately stepped off the bed and nodded at me.“Prepare the guest rooms for everyone,” he ordered, and I left the bedroom. I entered the Common Attendees’chamber and moved into the sanitation and cleaning section. I asked a few attendees to join me and briefed them about the guest rooms.
I spent the entire afternoon preparing for the guests and returned to Nandani in the evening.
I looked atRanima,Daadisa, and Queen Trisha, who were seated together.“Pranam, Daadisa,” I said, approaching her and kneeling to touch her feet.
“Ahh, Suman. How are you, my child?” she asked, her warm smile inviting. I smiled back.“I’m good, Daadisa,” I replied as she rested her hand on mine, her voice laced with sympathy.“Are you really okay, Suman?” she inquired, and I felt she understood me. I nodded, shifted my gaze to Ranima, and bent down to touch her feet.
“Pranam, Ranima,” I said as she wrapped me in a loose hug, gently patting my head.“God bless you, Suman,” she replied. I turned to Queen Trisha and joined my hands in respect.“Pranam, Ranisa.” She smiled and nodded at me.“Ji, Pranam.” I noticed Nandani watching me with suspicion and attempted to say,“Um, I should get something to eat for you.” “No need,” she responded immediately, and I bit my lower lip, unsure of what to say.
Honestly, she would kill me for hiding the truth, and if she found out from someone else, she'd kill me and then bring me back to life with elixir just to kill me again.
“Um, I had to handle the preparations,” I excused myself. I spent the rest of the day in the kitchen overseeing our purchases for the big feast, which was just five days away. I counted everything and assigned tasks to the staff. We will start making ladoos tomorrow.
By the time I finished, it had turned dark, and I felt exhausted. Thankfully, the work kept my mind engaged until I returned to Nandani’s chamber to check on her. I saw her sitting on the bed, feeding her baby with great care. Attendees surrounded her, and she lifted her gaze when she spotted me.
“Leave us alone,” she said, glancing at the other attendees as I approached her.