Page 38 of Sumanika

"Suno,"“Listen,” Kunwarsa’s voice caught my attention. I turned to look at him.

“Ji," I asked.

The fire had gone out in the stove, so I rushed to gather some wood. Kneeling in front of the small stove, I added the wood and looked around for the fire torch.

“How is Bhabhisa now?” he asked, squatting beside me. He was upset.

“She’s in pain,” I said shakily, rushing toward the torch to bring it to the stove. Kneeling again, I tried to light the fire, but my nervous, sweaty hands made it hard to focus. Memories of that day flooded my mind.

I attempted to ignore them, but the screams and heat of that day surged through my nerves, and tears flowed down my cheeks.

“Give me that.” He took the fire torch from my hand. I stepped back.

I gazed at my shaking fingers, drawing my knees tightly to my chest. Confusion overwhelmed me as my heart raced and my breaths turned shallow. In an instant, I felt a desperate struggle to breathe. I closed my eyes, attempting to soothe my chest with gentle rubs.

I heard the distant sound of him placing the water-filled vessel on the stove. Suddenly, he wrapped his arm around me, and I couldn’t help but burst into tears.

“It’s alright, take a deep breath, she’ll be fine,” he caressed my arm.

I tightened my fist around his wrist, turned slightly, and pressed my face against his chest. Then I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his hand resting on my head.

“Calm down; you need to give her strength. It’s okay; everything is fine,” he said, and I tried not to look at the fire.

He shifted in front of me, obstructing the view of the fire, and I attempted to calm my racing heartbeat.

“Focus on your breathing,” he said, rubbing his hand on my back.“Calm down.”

I didn’t know what was happening to me, but his words kept me grounded. He kept caressing my head until my heartbeat and breathing returned to a normal rhythm. The water had warmed up, and I tried to stand on my feet.

“I have to go,” my voice wavered.

He looked at me and suggested,“I’ll take it.”

I immediately shook my head and pushed his hand away.“You can’t,” I said, grabbing the edges of the vessels with the cloth and standing up.

I sauntered back to Nandani’s chamber. Her screams had only grown louder. I placed the vessel near the physicians.

Blood flowed from her; it scared me. I looked at Princess Aishwarya, who offered her strength with encouraging words and gently caressed her head.

Ranaji entered and sat beside her, taking her hand.“Come on, Nandani,” he said, prompting her to cry out loudly. Her anguished screams made my knees weak. But I couldn’t just leave like that. The memories of lying on that pyre clouded my vision.

I blinked, attempting to clear my thoughts, but it felt impossible.

“Come on, Nandani, push!” Ranaji urged, as she threw her legs and stretched her body in pain.“I can’t, Rudra! I can’t! Aaaahhhh!” Her screams grew louder, and I did my best to assist the physicians with whatever they needed, trying not to focus on those painful thoughts.

Agastya

My footsteps raced through the gallery, and my fingers trembled. After sending the letter to Mahabaleshgarh, I came to Bhaisa’s chamber. But I stopped my rapid steps like any other man waiting outside their bedroom.

Bhabhisa was screaming. I had never heard a voice so intense and painful in my life, except for once I saw her lying on that pyre.

Strangely, life and death can make you cry the same.

I didn’t know why, but these screams—though they signaled good news and a new family member—brought back memories of her painful screams.

It’s been over a month, yet the image of that pyre, her lying there alive, a man lighting the flames, and the crowd awaiting to hear her screams remained as vivid as that reality was. Dangerous—something that could break someone for the rest of their life.

I did not know what came to mind when I read her letter. I had known her as much as I had known the soldiers of our army—living in the same kingdom but having little interaction. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from saving her.

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