Page 33 of Sumanika

“Kunwarsa.” I shook my head.“Please, try to understand.”

“Make me understand,” his voice was deep and menacing.

“I am a widow,” the words slipped out unfiltered.

“What?” he asked. The noise of attendees running and laughing caught my attention. I looked away from him, trying to walk away.

But he held my hand and said,“Come with me.”

My eyes widened in shock, and I stood rigid, pulling my wrist from his grip.“Kunwarsa, please let go of my hand. What are you doing?”

“Kunwarsa,” I whispered, yelling.“What are you doing? And why do you even care? I can’t go there. It is an auspicious occasion for Nandani. I can’t ruin it,” I said, and he looked back at me and stepped forward, making me stumble back and hit the pillar behind the curtains.

“I don’t believe in all this. It’s important for Bhabhisa that you stay there; you have to,” he said, lifting his finger at me, and I inhaled deeply.

“I can’t,” I repeated, staring back into his eyes.

He declared,“I’m serious; you have no option.”

“Yes, I don’t have a choice. My life is different now. And why do you even care?” I raised my voice slightly.

He stepped forward quickly, and I shifted onto my toes, feeling his chest nearer to mine. My heart raced in my throat. The anger in his eyes was evident, even though he was trying to conceal it it.

“It doesn’t matter. You didn’t live with him, he didn’t care for you, and when the hearts weren’t one, how could a few rituals bind you together?” he asked, breathing over my face.

“No!” I blurt out, trying to calm myself.“It can bind us because I did marry him, and I am his widow,” I said, blinking nervously and pressing my hand against his chest to keep him away. It wasn’t right. He shouldn’t have been here.

His presence was making me weak. And, strangely, my own words were slipping me into doubts.

“No,” he breathed, bringing his palm closer to my cheek. I turned my face away. The memories of the last time we got this close, when he tied the holy thread around my arm, still lingered in my mind.

And then, how he sent me away.

It was all a joke to him. I was a joke to everyone.

“Hey,” he called out, his voice dropping low, and before he could touch me, I pushed him away and walked past.

I noticed him following me as I paced faster through the busy gallery. A few attendees walked past me carrying the plates of flower petals, powered red color, and dancer’s anklet bells.

“Suman, where are you going?” Reva asked, stopping before me. I glanced back at him, who approached closer and took the powered red color plate from Reva’s hand.

“Get another one,” he ordered, and my eyes widened in disbelief.“Ji, Kunwarsa.” She silently walked away, and oddly, I felt something dangerous was crossing his mind.

I immediately turned to walk as fast as I could. But he gripped my hand and pulled me to the side, behind the curtains. Intensely gazing into my eyes, he asked,“You were saying something?”, making my heart race. His words were provocative.

I gulped, staring back into his eyes, and pulled myself back.

“What are you doing? Kunwarsa,” my breath hitched as he stepped closer, forcing me to take a step back, pressing my back against the wall.

He placed the plate in the corner of the flower stand and brought his hand closer to my cheek. I shook my head, stopping him. Tears welled in my eyes, not because of his actions, but because he was so close that I might end up doing something we both would regret.

“You can’t touch me,” I reminded him, glancing away and lowering my gaze, almost pressing my cheek against the wall.

“Why exactly?” he asked, leaning in closer, his face only a few inches away. I could feel his warm breath on my face. The anger was clear in his tone.

“You know, exactly, why? What are you doing?” I questioned in my breaking voice, and he sucked in a deep breath.

“Bhabhisa and everyone are waiting for you. I understand you have a war happening in your mind, but whatever you think—”

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