Page 165 of Sumanika

And I ended up comparing him to my dead husband, which he was not.

I was measuring this one parameter between them. The term "man whore" was traumatic for me. I couldn’t focus on anything else when it penetrated my mind.

I couldn’t think beyond or less than that. I couldn’t grasp how or why Kunwarsa was sharing this with me.

And genuinely, I was wrong. He was not.

I didn’t trust him when he repeatedly insisted that Princess Rashmika loved someone else.

I chose to believe my own eyes, trusting only what I thought would bring me pain.

With my eyes, I also saw him caring for me, fighting for me, loving me, making me happy, laughing with me, and bringing joy to my life. But due to my insecurities, I ended up focusing on other things I had seen.

I could have handled it better.

Over these months, I understood that, like me, he had gone through something traumatic and unhappy. Even though my experience was more painful, it didn’t mean his was any less significant.

Still, he remained there to protect and care for me, never making me feel wrong about myself.

Now, I was happy. I discovered what was wrong with me, and I was working on it.

Honestly, I realized far too late that the problem was not in him but in me. If there had been any other man, even someone who had never been in a relationship with a woman, I would have reacted the same way.

So I didn’t need to taunt him about his past or make him feel bad about it.

But I think he knew. He knew what was happening to me. Thankfully, he left to give me time to reflect and think. If he had been here, I would never have understood what his presence meant in my life or what his care, love, and affection were worth. But all in all, things were getting better.

Another three months passed, and Princess began to speak a few words, though they were not understandable.

She was beautiful, and there was another good news: Princess Aishwarya was now two months pregnant, and Kunwarsa did not know about it. He was busy implementing new rules and policies in Mehrangarh and looking after the Kingdom. Princess Rashmika seemed happy, but I still did not know who she loved.

He was infrequent with his letters, only sending them to Ranaji. Nandani asked me a few times if I wanted to call him back. She told me he would come back if she asked Ranaji to bring him, but I declined. Now, I wanted to respect his decision, just as he respected mine. Honestly, I missed him very much.

Tomorrow is the Princess’s first birthday. I knew he would come, not for anyone but for her. After all, she is his favorite child. I felt a strange happiness bubbling inside me. I was under my comforter. It was past midnight, and I couldn’t sleep anymore. I didn’t know what I would do when I saw him, nor did I know how he would react to seeing me. Would he still be upset about it? Would he be happy to see me? Would he be missing me too?

I didn’t know, but I wanted to see him with longer hair now. I didn’t like the trimmed look; it intimidated me dangerously. I didn’t know if he would ask me if I was okay, and I didn’t know what was happening to me.

I couldn’t sleep all night; I felt butterflies and knots in my stomach. I got out of bed early, and even the attendees woke up before me. It was a celebration in the Kingdom: the Princess’s first birthday. The Kingdom began to fill with guests. King Abhinandan and his family arrived, and even people from Songarh came. It seemed like a grand celebration was underway. But my heart was fluttering for one man.

"Suman," Nandani called to me, and I turned to look at her.“Are all the guests’rooms ready?” she asked, adjusting the dupatta on her head after feeding the princess and putting her back to sleep.

I nodded with a smile. "Yes, all are ready," I replied. She walked toward me and hugged me gently before cupping my cheek. "Kunwarsa Agastya will arrive today, so get a bit ready,” she said, and I smiled, shaking my head.“It’s fine. I’m okay,” I said, returning to continue making theladoosI had prepared with the attendees in the resting area of Nandani's chamber.

The entire kitchen was in chaos. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want his attention anymore. I was content like this.“Is Kunwar Agastya’s chamber ready and clean?” I heard Nandani ask another attendee, raising her voice slightly. "What are you doing? Do it quickly," she urged, and I just smiled, focusing on theladoosI was shaping.

All I wanted was for him to look at me with love-filled eyes for once—My Shringhaar would be done, my responsibilities fulfilled, and love would bloom.

I didn’t realize that Nandani had left with all the attendees for an important guest arriving in the Kingdom.

I was suddenly distracted by the Princess’s crying. I looked around to see that no attentive caretaker was present.

Where did everyone go?

I stood up and quickly washed my hands before entering Nandani’s bedroom and approaching the Princess. Only a select few could touch her. The attendees could care for her and inform Nandani, but they could not get too close because of security reasons.

"Awww, my baby," I pampered, lifting the Princess into my arms. I patted her back as she cried even more.

"What happened to my sweet little pumpkin? Maasa? Do you need your Maasa?" I brought her out of the bedroom, but all she could do was cry.

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