Page 133 of Sumanika

But I knew my heart wasn’t in a healthy place. I didn’t know what I wanted or how I was feeling. It was causing me pain.

I inhaled deeply and glanced at Princess, who was silently looking in his direction. She wore a sad expression and suddenly started to cry.

"Uuuwwwwwwwaaeeeeeeeeeeeeee, aaaeeeeeeeehuuuuuuu,"

I closed my eyes, and suddenly, Nandani's voice caught my attention. "Suman,"

And I turned to look at her.

Agastya

I walked away from there, my heart feeling heavy and empty yet again. I lowered my face, trying to hide the tears welling in my eyes, threatening to break free at any moment.

"Agastya," suddenly, Ranvijay Bhaisa's voice caught my attention, and I kept my eyes wide open to let the air dry my tears.

"Ji, Bhaisa," I said in a confident and cheerful voice and waited for him to approach me.

As he touched my shoulder, I gulped to swallow the lump forming in my throat. "What happened? Is everything okay?" he asked.

His voice was slow, and I looked into his concerned eyes. I immediately planted a broad smile on my face.

"What would happen to me? God sends me messages to make something happen in this world," I said, and he laughed, looking at me.

I laughed, too.

"So, how is everything going?" he asked as we walked towards the garden. I nodded.

"Everything is going great. King Abhinandan has left and started moving his troops to Pratapgarh as we discussed, and I will leave soon, too," I said, looking at him, and he nodded.

"And what about Rashmika? Did you talk to her?" he asked, and I narrowed my brows, realizing that amid all this, I had completely forgotten about her.

"Um, I was just going to talk to her," I said and inhaled sharply.

"Is everything good between you two? I mean, I haven’t seen the two of you talking, and she is here, but you went somewhere last night. Are you considering breaking this alliance? Mehrangarh could be wrong, but she is a princess and deserves a life. Please don’t do anything that will hurt her. I understand the Kingdom deserves punishment, but she does not," he said, and I gulped silently, unsure of how to respond.

"Ji, ji, bhaisa," I managed to reply, and he smiled at me.

"All good, right, Agastya? I don’t know, but you look upset and sad," he asked again, touching my cheek.

I smiled widely. "Yes, Bhaisa. I just need some sleep,” I said, and he nodded and stepped away from me.

"Alright, I should go and will send you the list of resources we have for this war," he added, and I nodded, taking a few steps back.

"Okay, Bhaisa," I inhaled deeply and returned to my chamber. My head was hurting badly. I pressed my hands on my temples and sat down on the bed.

Then, I couldn’t help but burst into tears.

I did not want to hurt her. That's why I wasn’t telling her anything. I knew she had issues trusting a man like me. I knew she would become upset and doubt me.

But how could I hide all this from her? She deserved to know. But I didn’t want to hurt her like this.

She cried because of me. I couldn’t bear to see her cry. I could die but couldn't bear to see her tears.

What was the use of saving her if I ended up crying?

I didn’t know what to do now. She didn’t want to see me; she didn’t trust me, and I knew she would never do so now. Everything was going well, and I didn’t understand why I told her everything.

But how could I hide it from her? How could I let her fall for a man like me? I didn’t deserve her. I mean, she was a woman who sacrificed and remained single until her husband died. The husband who cheated on her and left her alone. Still, she stayed single and didn’t let any other man see her.

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