Page 150 of Let Us Prey

For unknown reasons, I decide to be honest. “I’m growing up, Lucille, and a lot has changed about me this year. I’m not the person I was when I came to Apex… under a death sentence.”

She pauses for a minute, as if considering, and for a moment, I think I’ve gotten through to her. “Yes, I believe you have changed. I’m uncertain if it’s for the better, but you have developed at least the beginning of a spine. You may have some Rostoff in you yet.”

I know she considers that high praise, but given the rumors I’ve heard about her family, I’m not sure that’s the direction I want to head. I thank her anyway, if only to get this painful conversation over with. “I appreciate the sentiment, mother. I will strive to be worthy of your family name, because I know it’s what you always wanted for me.”

Hopefully, that’s what she needs to hear.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve never thought you would be worthy of my father’s name, and your emergence proved me right. However, at the very least, you can be less of a daily embarrassment.”

So much for that.

Seeing as I’m not free from this conversation yet, I grab my makeup bag and carry it out to the vanity so I can get ready while she babbles about the legacy of the Rostoffs. She’s never spoken about her family this openly before, so I may as well soak in the intel. I haven’t decided yet if I want to see if Rufus and Cori or my guys want to hang out, but I don’t want to look like a hot mess express, either way. I toss my hair into a ponytail and apply light concealer as Lucille continues to extol the virtues of her father’s business prowess.

“...my father’s family has been dominant in the export business for over three hundred years, Delores. We are a formidable power in Eastern Asia, and unlike your father, we don’t allow anyone to disrespect us. You are too weak to understand the strength a Rostoff woman has to embody to survive...”

“Yes, mother,” I mutter, as I add blush and smoky eye shadow and pull out my black eyeliner pencil. Ringing the insides of my lash line with the kohl, I look in the mirror, expecting to see the damaged girl Lucille’s moaning about.

Except…

Instead, I see a woman who had the confidence to completely remake herself into the person she wanted to be. From colorful hair to piercings and even the bad bunny tattoo on my butt, I made every choice. I’m startled to realize that I truly like what I see. It doesn’t matter if the Heathers or Todd or even my mother think I’m worthless anymore—I know I’m not. I have friends and boyfriends who like me for who I really am, not the plastic doll others tried to mold for their purposes.

I’ve wasted so much of my time on those who don’t deserve it.

The long-forgotten ‘Fuck ‘Em Up, Sis’ list shoved in my vanity drawer included my parents, but it was also full of those who wronged me at Shifter Secondary and Vom Prom. With a satisfied smirk, I realize I’ve defeated them all over the past year. I humiliated Gold and Todd in Shifter Studies. Pink failed with her little newspaper smear campaign, and the rest of them aren’t even worth the energy it would take to exact revenge.

No, the only worthy opponent here is Lucille.

She’s the one who didn’t properly teach me about life as a shifter, or prepare me for the position she swore I would take as her heir. My mother didn’t allow Mattie or anyone else to give me the tools to survive in our world—despite any claims otherwise.

I came to college without knowing my family history or even how other shifters behave. Everything that made me feel like an outsider at Apex wasn’t simply because I was a bunny; I was so sheltered that I wouldn’t have fit in even if I’d emerged as a predator. Lucille’s goal was always to make me feel useless.

So I’d be easier to manipulate.

I pull my ‘Fuck ‘Em Up, Sis’ list out of the drawer so I can look it over. This is the list of a young, brokenhearted girl who was lost, scared, and alone—someone with no support system and a trampled self-esteem. Someone who could only think about enacting sweeping vengeance for the way she was treated, instead of calculating moves.

That’s not who I am anymore.

Grinning to myself, I take the black eyeliner and cross everyone off the list… except Lucille. My mother wants to drone on about how a Rostoff woman has to be strong?

Well, she isn’t ready for the one she created.

With that, I add winged liner to my look and a bright pink lipstick that matches my outfit. On a whim, I press my lips to the bottom of the paper, sealing it with a spiteful kiss. Deciding this saucy aesthetic will be my ongoing inspiration, I rummage around for tape so I can hang it on my mirror, as a visual reminder of my sharpened focus. I don’t see any, but there is a pack of gum, so I pop in a stick and chew for a few moments as I listen to see if Lucille has taken a breath yet.

Nope, still droning on about her father. It’s almost Oedipal, I fucking swear.

I spit the gum out and use the wad to stick the updated list to the glass, grinning at the image. It will remind me I am worthy of love and friendship, even if my bitchy mother doesn’t agree. I will not let her abuse me anymore—we will play her games on my terms, as equal opponents.

Delores Diamond Drew has had enough. I’m a Rostoff now, bitch.

From now on, I’m going to do exactly what she suggested. I’m going to summon the inner strength to take control of my life, starting with figuring out how to keep more students from dying. If the Council and their lackeys won’t protect us, then we have to do it ourselves. Hiding in the dorms isn’t fixing anything, and I’m tired of running scared—like prey.

My lips curve as I pick up my phone, looking at it for a moment before I unceremoniously hang-up. Turning the ringer on silent, I drop it in the purse on my dresser, deciding once I figure out my plans, I won’t look at it again for the rest of the night.

Lucille Rostoff may be the enemy, but she’s no longer the boss of me.

A loud knock on my door has me freezing in place. For one frantic moment, I assume Lucille has somehow already sent Bruiser over here to punish me, but even she doesn’t work that fast. Staying absolutely still, I sniff the air, trying to determine who is in the hallway before they can scent me in return. I refuse to let anyone intimidate me or steer me away from my newfound confidence or mission. No matter what challenges come my way, I will solve the mystery of what’s going on at Apex Academy once and for all.

I may not be Nancy Drew, but I’d make a pretty decent Velma.

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