Page 123 of Let Us Prey

Now isn’t the time or place to ask, but it’s making me nervous. I can’t message them in such an open space, nor can I get caught slacking when this change in the curriculum was clearly prompted bymyquestions. I return my focus to the video, squinting when the word ‘knotting’ flashes on the screen.

What in the name of Aphrodite is that?

I don’t have to wait long to find out because severalverydetailed diagrams appear on the screen, and I feel the color drain out of my face as I recognize exactly what happened—with both FitzandChess. The film explains that the phenomena differ from species to species, and can be called other things, but it’s specific to sexual activity between ‘fated mates’. Wincing at the weird hook thing that happens in felines, I struggle to keep up with my notes despite my shaking hands.

Fated mates—what does that even mean? Does it mean the guys don’t really like me? Maybe Fitz and Chess didn’t have a choice? What if it doesn’t happen to the others? What if my stupid prey shit caused this?

The questions whirling through my head are overwhelming, and I don’t know what to do. It feels like my world is being tossed into a blender, and it’s set to high speed, but I can’t turn it off before the lid goes flying. I put my pen down and close my eyes, desperately trying to calm myself. When I felt like this during the summer, I would go out and get a new piercing or a tattoo. The pain distracts me, and though I know it’s nottechnicallythe healthiest way to deal, it helps.

I wonder if I can get Rufus and Cori to sneak off campus with me to a tattoo parlor.

When I open my eyes, I realize I’m white-knuckling my notebook. I’m feeling so insecure and naïve, but I need to get a hold of myself. My gaze cuts to the lioness again, but she’s not looking at me or my guys. Maybe she really is doing this to be helpful? I’m not sure I’m ready to trust anyone else just yet—it’s been hard enough to share my trauma with Rufus and Cori, and now I have to swap truths with my boyfriends in order to get the same from them. I’m still reconciling how exposed that makes me feel, but I know it has to happen.

Any good therapist would tell me I can’t lock my heart in a vault forever because of a few assholes in high school.

Maybe that’s what I need—realfriend time. This is my last class of the day, and I could go have a ‘therapy’ session with Rufus and Cori. Their parents taught them afucktonmore about shifter life than Lucille allowed me to learn, so they might know about this ‘knotting’ and ‘fated mate’ stuff. If they explain it to me in layman’s terms, I might feel less like an idiot.

I might stop wondering if the guys feltcompelledto be with me.

That thought makes my heart ache, and I frown. I know my animal has been pushing me to bite them and is very receptive to the feel of their teeth on me. I don’t think I can bring myself to ask Zhenga if that means my bunny wants to mate. When I have my implant changed, I should probably ask the nurses;they have to know a little about this, right?

Speaking of that, I need to do it soon because I’d like to have a sleepover with Fitz and Chess together—soon.

I pull out my phone quickly, making a note to ask Bettina about biting. Accidental mating seems like something I need to be wary of; Aubrey was very clear about that. A thought occurs to me, and I add another quick task for during my work study this evening…visit the archives and look up fated mates. Between that and my research on the Society, I have plenty to keep me busy.

When the movie ends and everyone stands, I scurry out of the room as quickly as possible. I can’t bear to look at the guys until I have my head on straight, and I definitely can’t let any of them touch me until I fix this damned birth control issue. Wanting to scream in frustration, I put my earbuds in and duck into a small corridor that leads to the prey tunnels.

I don’t want anyone to see me freaking out, especially not that obvious spy, Yellow.

Using the modified prey version of the campus map, I follow a series of twists and turns until I arrive at a door that has acaduceuson it. The symbol for medicine makes me sigh with relief, and I push open the door slowly so I don’t startle the three nurses when I emerge from their supply closet.

“Um, hello? Bettina? Clarice? Argyle? It’s Dolly..." The three women are sitting at a table chowing down on lunch, not batting an eye when I appear out of nowhere. I give them a nervous smile as I shut the closet door and walk over. “I need your help again.”

“Told you she’d be back!” snorts Argyle.

Clarice frowns, and Bettina glares at their colleague. “Stuff it, Argyle. What can we do for you, Dolly?”

“I need my implant refreshed and, um, I have some questions.” They look at me curiously and I rush to add, “Privatequestions.”

Bettina wipes her mouth with a napkin and stands, nodding. “Well, then girlie. Come lie down on the exam table and we’ll get started.”

“Oh, no! I’m interrupting your lunch,” I reply, shaking my head.

“Nonsense, girl. Birth control is not something toput off.” Argyle gets up and heads for their locked medicine cabinet in a huff. “I can forgo a full belly soyoudon’t get a full belly.”

Clarice sighs and leads me to the exam table. “Don’t mind her. Being gruff is her love language. I promise she likes you.”

“If she didn’tsprayyou, she likes you,” mutters Bettina.

Well, that’s comforting.

“Don’t fret, Dolly—we’ll have you all fixed up in time for Valentine’s Day,” Clarice adds with a bright smile.

My eyes dart between the skunk, the hedgehog, and the possum.

Did she just say… Valentine’s Day?

How in the hell am I going to handle that—eeney, meenie, miney, moe?

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