Page 60 of Dirty Grovel

But it feels like a defeat to admit that I’m preoccupied with a woman, instead of work.

“Look around, bro.” Artem hits me on the back. “We’re in paradise. The kids are happy. The women are happy. Time to drink your beer and just enjoy it.”

I glance back at Sutton and Faye. They’re framed by the arched doorway, heads together as they coo down at the baby.

She looks so fucking good with a baby in her arms.

There’s a tug at my cold, hard heart. A normal man might find that hopeful—but I’m not a normal man.

If I am really starting to thaw, I’m not sure I can see that as a good thing.

“I can’t enjoy anything while my uncle is still out there, plotting against me as head of the company.”

“Even after you’ve dealt with Boris, there’ll be a new threat that pops up,” Artem counsels. “You can’t put your life on hold every time some new problem comes up.”

“You don’t get it.” I shake my head. “Thisismy life. Plotting, planning, working—thatiswho I am.”

“I hate to break it to you, bro—but that’s about to change. Soon, your life is going to be all about your family—the baby and Sutton.”

“Sutton and I are not together.”

Artem purses his lips as though he’s trying to suppress a smile. “I’m sure that sounds really nice when you say it to yourself in the mirror every morning.”

“Blyat’,” I mutter, running a hand through my hair. “I can’t make her happy, Artem. So why should I try?”

“Because she might want you to?”

Grimacing, I take a swig of my beer. “I haven’t done a very good job so far.”

“It’s a learning curve,” Artem offers sympathetically. “You haven’t been in a relationship since you were eighteen years old. It’s a tough mindset to break. But this child is going to force you to kick it up a couple of notches. Dispense with the baby steps—no pun intended—and step up like a man. You’re in deep now. You’re in this for the long haul.”

“You’re not making me feel better.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel better,” he retorts. “I’m trying to tell you that you have a whole new set of responsibilities now. And that requires you to change your priorities.”

“What if I can’t?”

Artem sighs. “I know it’s hard to see when they’re just little blobs in their mother’s bellies, but that little blob will be a baby soon,brother. And that baby is going to be everything to you. Trust me: you’re going to want to bring your A game to the table. That includes being the best man you can be—not just for the baby, but for the baby’s mother, too.”

I turn around, my eyes finding Sutton. She’s laughing about something Faye just said. Every few seconds, she bends down and drops a kiss on the baby as though she can’t help herself.

I have no doubt that our child will be the recipient of that kind of blinding love.

“You remember your childhood, don’t you?” Artem presses. “Don’t you want that for your kid?”

“My parents were married. Really married. There was no contract involved.”

“Here’s an idea,” Artem suggests. “Forget the damn contract and start over.”

My gaze snaps back to Artem. “You’re suggesting I marry Sutton for real?”

“Yes.”

I twist my beer bottle in my hands, deep in thought. “I don’t deny she’ll be a good mother. But I’m not sure she can handle being a Bratva wife.”

“Fuck that,” Artem snaps. “I’m not suggesting you marry her because she’ll be a good wife or a good mother. I’m suggesting it because youloveher, Artem. You just refuse to accept it.”

I take another swig of my drink. “You know what happens to the people I love, Artem. My love may as well be a curse.”

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