Page 182 of Dirty Damage

Itcanbe.

And that’s enough to send me on a downward spiral.

MARA:Hey hon. You doing okay? :) How about we grab lunch during my work break? I think you need an outing. <3 <3

Maybe an outing can counteract my downward spiral. Maybe some fresh air and a walk is all I need to alleviate the burning in my chest.

I probably should see a doctor, but for some reason, if it’s bad, I don’t want to know just yet.

At least I can stay pregnant for a few more hours.

SUTTON:How about the smoothie bar? I’m gonna head over there in a bit. Join me whenever you’re on your break.

I grab my bag and make the ten-minute walk to the smoothie bar. It’s a balmy day, the breeze riffling through my hair like warm fingers. Every corner I turn, I feel as though someone is watching me.

At least I know it’s not Oleg.

Every time I blink, I can see his face—the heartless way he looked away from me as he ordered me out of his home and his life.

Was it ever a possibility that we would live in that gorgeous mansion by the water?

Was raising a family there together ever real?

It feels like some sort of cruel joke. A carrot the universe dangled in front of me before taking it back.

Silly, stupid Sutton. That kind of life is not for grubby little orphan girls with no family and no future.

You’re a Palmer Woman, remember? You don’t get things that nice.

I blink back tears as I make the last turn to the smoothie bar.

My hand falls instinctively over my stomach. I can’t be losing this baby. Not when I can feel him or her so deeply inside me.

Surely, that has to mean something.

Surely, it means that the universe, in all its viciousness, is offering me this one consolation prize.

You will never have everything, but you will give everything to your child.

My feet hit the pavement in a steadyclick-clack, click-clack. And with every step, I can hear it echoed in someone else’s.

I turn twice, just to make sure I’m not being followed but there’s no one behind me except for a startled old lady who starts walking in the opposite direction the second time I glance behind my shoulder.

Great. I’m scaring old ladies now.

Feels like a fitting conclusion to my transformation from loser to total loser.

When I get to the smoothie bar, I make straight for the counter, place my order, and shuffle off to find a table by the window.

I haven’t been seated five seconds before a tall, hooded figure slips into the seat opposite mine.

The stench on him is sweat and Creed Aventus; I recoil instantly.

Drew grabs my arm, nails digging into my wrist so that I’m forced to stay in my seat. “Don’t be silly, baby, it’s just me.”

“Let. Go. Of. Me.” I enunciate every damn word.

He just grins. “Come on now, don’t be like that.”

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