Page 125 of Knight

R0GUE_N3XUS:Eva ...

Don’t. You don’t get to use my name. Not after four weeks of silence.

R0GUE_N3XUS:I need to explain.

No. You need to stop. Stop watching me. Stop sending money.

The cursor blinks steadily while I wait for his response. Part of me hopes he’ll just go away. A larger part knows he won’t.

R0GUE_N3XUS:Come to my apartment.

I actually laugh at that.

Are you serious?

R0GUE_N3XUS:Yes. Let me explain in person.

So you can push me away again when it gets too real?

R0GUE_N3XUS:No. So I can explain why I was wrong. Why I’ve been watching. Why I can’t stop.

I’m not interested in your explanations.

R0GUE_N3XUS:Then be interested in the truth. I’ll be honest with you.

The truth? You want to talk about truth?The truth is you’re a coward. You pushed me away and then tried to substitute money for actual contact.

R0GUE_N3XUS:Yes. I am. A coward who thought distance meant safety.

The honesty in his response catches me off guard. Knight doesn’t admit weakness. Doesn’t acknowledge fear.

Why now?

R0GUE_N3XUS:Because I was wrong. Because watching through cameras isn’t enough. Because I miss you.

Not good enough.

R0GUE_N3XUS:I know. Come tell me that in person. The doors will be open.

He's asking me to walk back into his world. Back where everything started. Where everything ended.

Why should I trust you?

R0GUE_N3XUS:You shouldn’t. But come anyway.

That’s not the answer I want.

R0GUE_N3XUS:It’s the honest one.

I stare at the cursor waiting for my response.

If this is a game ...

R0GUE_N3XUS:No games. Just me. Finally figuring out that pushing you away doesn’t actually keep either of us safe.

I should say no. Should make him work harder for forgiveness. Should make him feel every second of the past four weeks.

One hour.

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