Page 214 of Mother of Death and Dawn

“Please,” I begged.

Everyone had always left me.

When I was Aefe, each body I shared my soul with was gone by morning. As Reshaye, each soul I shared a body with was ripped away from me.

I had the sudden, horrible feeling that Caduan was going to leave me, and at the same time, the sudden, horrible realization that I could not survive it if he did.

“I’m not.” He closed his hand over my grasp in gentle affection, then got into the bed beside me, clothes and all. I sank so easily into the warmth of his form, my head lying on his chest, ear pressed to his heartbeat, my bare legs twining around his clothed ones. His arms encircled me, holding me firmly—one hand stroked my hair, and the other laid over mine. My fist closed around the fabric of his shirt, tight, not to allow him to escape.

“I am not going anywhere,” he said again, his lips passing over the top of my head.

We had lain there for several minutes, when he finally murmured, “I’m sorry. For how I behaved after… the festival. I was…” A long, shaky breath. “I was afraid.”

I did not need to ask,afraid of what?Because I knew, here as I melted into his pulse, exactly what was so frightening about this.

“I don’t care,” I said, and I meant it. He was here now. His flesh had become a part of mine. And I was here, intertwined with him, as intimate as sharing a body with another soul.

We did not speak again. I just listened to his heartbeat all night long, and for the first time since I had opened my eyes into this strange body, I did not feel lonely at all.

CHAPTEREIGHTY-FIVE

MAX

“So? What do you think?”

When we returned to our temporary home, Tisaanah sagged over her desk, rubbing her temples.

“I don’t know,” Tisaanah said. “I don’t think it will be simple to separate Caduan from his throne. And I do not like the sound of what Ishqa proposes, smashing his country to pieces to weaken its foundation. I have seen that story before. But…” She let out a long breath through her teeth. “But. He’s also right. What other choice does he have?”

“I don’t trust that man. I don’t think he can do this.”

“He doesn’t seem capable of it,” Tisaanah admitted. “But Ishqa seems to believe it would work, and his judgment has helped us many times before.”

I thought of the look on Ishqa’s face earlier. The desperation. The regret. “I think there are a lot of reasons why Ishqa would want to believe a broken person can change.”

The corner of her mouth quirked. “You did.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so instead I grumbled something wordless.

“We have so little control over the Fey,” she went on. “We barely understand them. Even if we disagree with Ishqa’s plans, I do not think we could stop him. But Ara…”

Just the sound of the name made me nauseous.

“Right,” I said. “Ara.”

Tisaanah at last abandoned her papers. She stood, giving me that look—the kind that cut right through me, seeing all sorts of things I didn’t want her to see.

“I do think you would make a wonderful king,” she said, quietly, a tiny smile at once side of her mouth.

I scoffed. “You don’t need to flatter me to get me into bed. We’re long past that.”

“I am serious.”

“So am I! Please, Tisaanah. Let’s think about this. Can you think of anyonelesswell-suited to prancing around with an Ascended-damned crown on his head than me?”

Her expression soured. “I can think of at least one other person.”

Fair. I walked into that one.

---