Page 193 of Mother of Death and Dawn

I had never seen this face before… and yet, I knew this person.

Suddenly I was very, very afraid.

“It’s you,” I whispered. “Reshaye.”

CHAPTERSEVENTY-SIX

AEFE

She was so close. I had never seen Tisaanah’s face anywhere but in the mirror. She was the same, and yet, so very different. I could see so much more of her this way, and so much less. When I stepped forward, I half expected her to move with me.

I had not realized, then, exactly how unusual she looked to the rest of the world. I loved her mind for all the crevices her broken pieces gave me—how easily we fit together. But even her face was composed of many fragments, those patches of tan and white making her look like a cracked porcelain doll.

She looked like home.

For the last few weeks, I had at last begun to feel right in this body. But the sight of her released sharp pangs of grief in all the empty parts of me that she would have occupied. It shook me down to my core.

A part of me still wanted to crawl inside of her skin. A part of me still wanted her.

“It’s you,” she whispered, sounding as if he hadn’t intended to speak. “Reshaye.”

I approached her until I was close enough to feel the warmth of her body. Our noses nearly brushed. I could have kissed her.

“That is not my name.”

“Aefe.”

Why did it feel so strange to hear her voice saying that?

“Maybe that is not my name, either.”

The sight of her shook loose the fragile grip upon my new sense of self. I had started to feel like Aefe, but now I found myself questioning it. Maybe I was still Reshaye. Or maybe I was half of each, and all of neither.

Her brow furrowed, and I struggled to decipher her expression. “Why are you here?”

I nearly laughed. Did she think I did not know what she was asking? The same thing Tisaanah always asked in her subtle ways—what do you want?

“Justice,” I said. “Retribution.”

It was only now, as the words left my lips, that I realized the full extent of their meaning. That I realized how much of that justice today was forher. Perhaps it was because I still felt her memories burning in my heart. Perhaps it was because I still felt her scars upon my own back.

“It won’t stop after this,” she murmured. “What your king wants to do.”

“I know.” And that was the joy of it. It was only the beginning.

“It does not have to be this way, Aefe.”

I smiled, nearly breaking into a laugh. “You can not lie to me. I know what your mind feels like. I know you yearn for your vengeance just as much as I yearn for mine.”

Her eyes were hypnotic, large and mismatched. They refused to relinquish my gaze. “Not like this. Not what will come after it. You do not have to be this, anymore. No one can make you.”

I was confused. Make me do this? Iwantedthis. For the first time, I was choosing my path. I was fighting formy own people,not someone else’s.

“I want this,” I bit out. “You are the one that taught me what it was to leave a mark upon the world, and I will leave it.” I pressed closer, my eyes bearing into hers. “The Lejara. We know that you have one. Where—”

Instead of answering, she said, “You sacrificed yourself for me. I saw you, Reshaye. Aefe. Isawyou.”

Those three words made me stop short.

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