I chuckled as I drew another circle.

Max’s face brightened. “Look,” he said, pointing. I peered over my shoulder to see a smattering of random flower petals scattered across the ground. “That’s something.”

“Not what I wanted,” I scowled.

“Better than nothing. It’ll work when you think about it the least.”

I watched as the smile faded on his lips, though it still clung faintly to the corners of his mouth.

I would admit it: he was handsome, with those high cheekbones and, of course, those delicate, striking eyes that peered out from beneath his perpetually thoughtful brow. My gaze swept down, over the solid line of his shoulder, then following his arm and landing on the ropey muscle of his forearms.

Surely, it wouldn’t be difficult for him to find female companionship if he wanted to. But he never brought anyone home. Then again, bringing someone home implied that he left in the first place, which he didn’t. Ever.

His eyes dropped. I wondered if I had been staring too intently. Too-quickly, I looked back to my parchment.

“You did not answer,” I said.

“I haven’t had anything in a long time that went beyond the… uh… physical. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Physical?” I echoed.

“Well— You know. More shallow romantic interactions.”

“Shallow?” I leaned forward, doe-eyed. “How shallow?”

“Well — poor word choice.” A slight but distinctive flush rose to his cheeks. “Definitely notshallow, but—” He stopped short as I struggled to contain my laughter, eyes narrowing at me in realization. “You shit.”

I shook my head, still giggling, drawing another attempt at a Stratagram. I caught a glimpse of a flurry of directionless flower petals out of the corner of my eye. Not good enough.

“Why am I the one being interrogated here?” He crossed his arms. “What about you? How long have you been with yourlover?”

He said the word “lover” in what I could only imagine was supposed to be an imitation of my accent —loov-ear.

“I have no lover.”

“The blond?”

“Serel?” I laughed, shaking my head. “No. He would be more interested in you than me.”

“Ah. I see.” Max was silent for a moment. “So… no one?”

I didn’t speak. A different reality flashed through my mind — a reality in which I was a normal Aran girl who lived an unremarkable Aran life, and could tell him a story of an innocent first love or a dimwitted ex-beau. And that false reality just seemed so… appealing. Simple.

Compared to my truth. My complicated, painful truth.

And yet, somehow I got the impression that he knew what he was really asking me. It was there in the gentle tone of his voice: an open door.

“Well. There was Esmaris. And the men I… performed for.” I tried to speak as casually as possible, even though the words suddenly grew thick, like rancid honey. “But that was survival, not love. I knew my value, and I needed to use it.”

I chanced a glance at him, and his lips were tight.

“That shouldn’t have happened to you.”

I shrugged, even though the movement was stiff, forced. “Many had much worse.”

Are you aware of how well I treat you?Esmaris had asked me, minutes before he tried to kill me.

“That doesn’t change anything.” He shook his head. One burning movement. “It doesn’t make what they did to you any less terrible, Tisaanah.”