Page 81 of What Blooms from Death

All of this, hissed a scathing, terrified voice in the back of my mind. But I couldn’t speak; I was still breathing too hard, my thoughts racing too wildly from my latest strange vision.

It had reminded me, again, of my mother. Of the plays we used to attend in our royal city. Of the world I’d once belonged to, and how thoroughly ruined it all was. How I’dthoughtI knew how to fix it all, just days ago. But now…

I slowly rose to my feet. The floorboards continued to shiver and sigh underneath us. The twisting remnants of our combined magic filled the air. As I stared at a particularly dark and curling strand, I was transported all the way back to the beginning of this—to the night of my birthday. The sight of the shadows channeling violently through my body. The breaking ground. The bodies falling. The screams echoing.

Aleksander’s touch might have distracted me more than it should have, and our magic might have created balance and life where it shouldn’t have existed, but some things still hadn’t changed.

I still couldn’t trust him. Our kingdoms were still enemies. And this realm we stood within was still Hell. I would be a fool to forget any of that, regardless of the shiny veil our magic might have draped over it all.

“Nova?”

Three times.

He’d now used my actual name three times today. And this was twice, now, that he’d caught me as I tumbled off balance—first in the waves of Lake Nyras, and now in the waves of memory and the strange haunting visions that kept popping up at the worst possible times.

What’s wrong?he’d asked.

And the concern in his eyes…

Why was it so much harder to endure that concern than it was to deal with his insults and cruel taunts? Why did it frighten me even more than all my haunting visions combined?

“It’s this,” I whispered, watching him closely as he got to his feet as well. “All of this.” Taking a deep, steadying breath, I said, “I lost everything the night your swordsomehowended up in my father’s chest.”

“I didn’t—”

“Iknow. I heard you before, when you claimed innocence. But I have spent seven years believing you were my enemy—that there was a path to redemption and healing if I could just find that cursed sword of yours and then confront the one who sits on the Elarithian throne. But now I’m here, and nothing in this realm is like I expected it to be, and you…” I took a step back, clenching and unclenching my fists, trying to settle my frustration enough to keep talking. “None of it makes any sense.”

He settled back on the bench, clasping his hands behind his head and tilting his face to the ceiling. Even though the pose suggested exasperation, he still managed to appear calm—perfectly poised and regal—and I hated him all over again for it.

“I don’t understand it.” I wanted to scream. Instead, my voice came out hoarse, just shy of cracking as I said, “I don’t understandanyof it.”

After a weighted pause, he said, “I want answers, too. And you are the lastperson I wanted to search for them with. But here we are.” He looked down and met my eyes—truly met them—and he shifted one of the hands behind his head, as though he was considering reaching it out to me. The beginnings of a truce, however feeble.

I couldn’t bring myself to encourage that truce along. Maybe it was stubbornness. Or fear. Or maybe it was because I had wrapped myself so tightly in plans for revenge for so long, that now I couldn’t even imagine what else could possibly grow between us.

Nothing else felt real.

Nothing else felt safe.

So I simply shoved the mess of my feelings down for the moment. Pushed it all down. Pushed it all back.Buried it all, just like I always did, as if that would kill off these feelings and make them into something I could control.

I had a terrible feeling, though, that whatever was building between Aleksander and me would not be so easily laid to rest.

“I need to go find Thalia,” I told him, evenly. “We need to make a plan to get out of this city as quickly as possible, as we said earlier. I’m sorry I got carried away a moment ago. Let’s…” I forced a cordial smile. “Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

He stood, an unreadable mask falling over his face. He didn’t agree or disagree with my plan to pretend, nor did he try to close the distance between us as I thought he might.

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my growing confusion and irritation; I headed for the stairs and started down without another word. I was moving so fast by the timeI reached the bottom that I nearly collided with the person starting to climb them—Kaelen.

He caught my arm in a strong grip, steadying me. “Sorry to startle you. I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

I threw a glance over my shoulder.

Aleksander now sat on the top step, elbows propped on his knees, chin resting on his hands. Perfectly composed once more. As if he’d been sitting there all afternoon, drinking in the room and all its tarnished and dusty splendor, contemplating it.

“Nothing at all,” I said to Kaelen, all my lingering frustrations making my voice cold as ice.

“Good. Because I’ve been looking for you,” he said, drawing my gaze back to him.

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