The one emotion Ididn’tsee was shock.
She didn’t look as surprised by the news of Cillian’s death as I thought she might be.
Realization crawled over my skin. I barely resisted the urge to try and claw the needling sensation from my body.
“…You were already aware of what happened in Fallon’s dungeons, weren’t you?”
She averted her eyes.
“The sister I knew would have already done something about it.”
“It’s more complicated than all the things you once knew.”
“But you know something has to change. You’re destroying each other. Whatever grand plans you all had for reshaping this world are gone.”
She shoved past me, making as if for the door, but stopped at the sound of my voice.
“You fought against him once already. You risked everything to help me escape from our house the other night. What’s changed in the days since then?”
“Yes, I fought.” She threw a glare over her shoulder at me. “But that was foryou. And it was a moment of desperation. I don’t know if the others will fight as I did. Even the ones loyal to me…it’s a risk. One that might not pay off for either of us.”
“Willyoukeep fighting, at least?”
She seemed startled by the question.
“Savna.” Her name cracked as it came out. My throat was so brutally, painfully dry.
Slowly, she turned to face me once more.
“Just answer the question.”
She breathed in deep. Exhaled. Over and over. Finally, she whispered, “Iwantto fight with you. For you.”
“You want to. But something is holding you back.”
“I want to,” she repeated, looking me dead in the eyes with a haunting sort of focus. “But I haven’t been able to get the taste of smoke from my tongue. I still smell it whenever I breathe in too deeply. Iseeit when I close my eyes—the land outside of our house, our childhood home, all of it…burning.”
“They were empty fields.”
“Thistime. But fire spreads if left unchecked.”
“They were fires he sent to help guide me back home.”
“…Home?” The word rolled like a boulder from her lips, heavy and clumsy, hitting the ground between us and cracking it open. The start of yet another chasm between us.
I’d realized it months ago: That Dravyn was home for me now. This was the first time I’d ever said it out loud to her, though—or to anyone, maybe.
It was painful to watch the way my sister shrunk away from my words. But I didn’t take them back. I wouldn’t apologize for moving on. For changing. Not anymore.
She collected herself and calmly asked, “Is that how you were able to vanish into the flames? You really are a divine being, now, aren’t you?” Her eyes glazed over, as if she was reliving the memory as we spoke. “There one moment, gone up in smoke the next…it was…frightening to watch.”
“Burning yourself away can be surprisingly therapeutic,” I muttered.
“Fire spreads,” she said, again. “And it destroys things.” She blinked back into awareness, and her gaze jumped to the burn scars covering my face. She looked away just as quickly, as if she hadn’t meant to let her eyes wander so carelessly over this ugly reminder of our childhood games and mistakes.
Months ago it would have beenmelooking away first, trying to keep her from staring.
Now I kept still.