Page 105 of Ash and Feather

I sat up. As the bed groaned under my weight, Savna’s breath caught. Then it stopped altogether. Her heart still raced, though, pounding a frantic rhythm as she opened her eyes and fixed them on me.

We stared at one another for what felt like a lifetime.

My hand went to my neck, feeling for the spot where she’d stabbed me with…well, whatever the hell she’d stabbed me with. Something that had allowed her to carry me away from Mindoth, and then all the way back to our childhood home.

How long had I been asleep?

What had happened during that time?

And why had she brought mehere, of all places?

She swallowed hard. “Karys, I can explain. I—”

“No,” I whispered. “No, I don’t think you can.”

She got to her feet.

I did the same.

We stared for a second lifetime, our breaths growing scarce once more, our hearts both chanting to wrecked, uneven beats.

I backed up until my legs were flush against the bed. Pressed to the mattress, I realized how violently I was shaking.

Savna started to reach for me but drew her hand back just before it closed over mine. She pulled it into a fist and clutched it like a shield over her heart, watching me. Giving me space to speak, I guessed.

Where the hell was I supposed to start?

Inside, I was screaming. My questions, my accusations, my pain and uncertainty—all of it was so, soloud. All I wanted to do was get these things out of my head. I wanted to corner her, to shout until my lungs were sore and she was cowering, shrinking into nothing the way I’d wanted to do so many times since losing her.

But when words finally made it out, they were quiet. Broken. Spoken in the voice of a younger me—the me she’d left behind five years ago.

“You’re…alive.”

Her hand fell from her chest. She took a step toward me. I was still backed against the bed with nowhere to go, so I simply stood, stiff and uncomfortable, as she wrapped her arms around me.

I couldn’t bring myself to hug her back.

For so many years, I would have givenanythingfor the chance to embrace her again. But now my arms wouldn’t even move. No part of me would move, save for my mouth.

“You’ve been alive this entire time,” I whispered, still in disbelief.

A long, awful pause, and then she gave the barest of nods. Her dark hair brushed against my cheek as she did, sending her familiar fragrance washing over me. Little had changed about it, even after all this time. She was still soft earth and overgrown grass, because she was never inside long enough to fully shed these wild scents from her skin. There was a hint of something woodsy, too, along with subtle notes of flowers and herbs from the tea she was always drinking or making for someone else.

She was still so close. I couldn’t breathe without inhaling all these reminders of her. I felt like I was suffocating.

Finally, she took a step back.

Still staring.

Still not speaking.

“Savna…how could you?”

She flinched as though I was speaking much louder, only to quickly collect herself and step farther away from me. Smoothing a wrinkle from the hem of her shirt, her eyes on it instead of my face, she calmly replied, “How could I what?”

Again, I didn’t know where to start.

“How could I not have told you about the trip I took to the divine realm, you mean?” She continued to back away, hitting the chair in the process and sending it toppling to the ground. She left it overturned as she walked to the window, hands tapping together with soft, rhythmic claps. She always used to do that when she was anxious or agitated.

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