Page 33 of Ash and Feather

“You’re lost at the moment,” he went on, the rest of his features emerging from the shadows and arranging themselves.

I still didn’t speak, partly because I was mesmerized by the way he effortlessly put himself back together, and partly by thefinished product taking shape; he was so close, and—like most of the divine—a horribly beautiful creature, even when in pieces.

His words were even more hypnotizing, though.

Lost?

I was not lost. At least, not at the moment. I knew exactly where I was and exactly where I wanted to get to—back to the Palace of Fire.

I started to tell him so, but found the words caught in my throat for some reason.

“Physically, you cannot control your new magic,” Zachar told me, as though I needed a reminder, “because mentally you are still trapped in a past where you felt powerless. Some part of you stilllikesbeing in that past, I suspect.” He looked around, his attention lingering the longest on the exact spot on the cliffs where he’d once trapped and threatened me. “So here you are, as before.”

I, too, found myself staring at those cliffs. I couldn’t recall many times when I’d felt more lost—or powerless—than the moment when I’d been trapped on the edge of those rocks. That much was true.

But I hadn’twantedto return to this moment, or to this place.

That was nonsense.

Almost everything he was saying was ominous nonsense, as per usual.

“Perhaps the reason you cannot move forward is because you cannot heal from what’s happened to you,” Zachar mused, “and thatis because you are trying to return to a person who does not exist anymore. To an old self that is trying desperately to die—a powerless self that you love and thus keep breathing life into.”

I glared at him, all my frustrations with the day bubbling to the surface. “I don’t want to be powerless. And I don’t love that older version of me. At all. Ihateher, and I’m happy she’s gone—not that it’s any business of yours, whether you’re the God of Rebirth or anything else.”

“You don’tseemhappy,” he remarked.

“You have me all figured out, do you?”

“Not you, specifically. But I have watched mortal beings coming and going for long enough now—one starts to notice patterns after a while.” He lifted a hand in front of him, curling a clawed finger. The motion summoned a small shadow to his palm, and he watched it twist into different shapes as he said, “None of them like change, even when it’sgoodchange.”

“I am not a mortal any longer,” I reminded him fiercely.

He breathed in that slow, unsettling way he often did, as if he was inhaling the air and tasting all the unspoken words and emotions within it.

My skin heated with discomfort, tiny flames flickering to life in the space around me.

He eyed those fires with a hungry sort of interest. “You seem frightened, little goddess.”

I shook my head, even though it was true—his words hadstruck a note of terror deep in some buried part of myself I didn’t want to examine. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing that, however.

“I am not afraid of change,” I said. “And I am not afraid ofyou.But Iamleaving. Go find someone else to haunt.”

This time when I walked away, he didn’t stop me. I soon felt his stare at my back, though, and his shadows trailing me, nipping like restless dogs at my heels.

I walked faster.

As it turned out, I hadn’t managed to travel as far as I’d thought. Disappointing, but also relieving—because within only a few minutes of walking, I spotted the pond I’d left Zell next to.

I gave a sharp whistle, and soon the selakir was racing to my side once more.

I rode back to the palace with my body pressed flat against Zell’s back, my cheek resting on his muscular neck and my hands fisted into his fiery, silky mane, oblivious to the flames that would have burned anyone other than Dravyn and me.

Zell went slower than usual, keeping his gait as smooth as possible so as not to jar me from my troubled thoughts.

I kept replaying my conversation with the Death God over and over, even though I didn’t want to. Even though I came to the same conclusion every time.

He was wrong.

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