A few times, I’d even felt the tips of my fingers and toes starting to disappear while I was surrounded by the flames. But every time, I’d panicked at the thought of being there one moment, gone the next.
Justgone.
I couldn’t do it.
It made no logical sense. I couldn’t map the space between where I stood and where I was transporting myself to, and so my brain simply refused to believe it was possible to make such a journey on my own.
My latest attempt had resulted in a transfer of what seemed to be only my magical essence—I had remained perfectly solid at my starting point, but a ghostly figure that vaguely resembled me had appeared on the targeted hilltop.
Mai had nearly panicked at this. Apparently, it wasn’t unheard of for a divine being to splinter themselves this way and then not be able to put the physical body and the magical soul back together again.
I needed to take a break, she’d decided, before I did permanent damage to myself or my magic.
So, I was taking a break.
I’d sank down to the ground several minutes ago, oblivious to the mud I landed in—mud from melted Ice magic that had extinguished my chaotic fires, as Valas had promised to do. I sat stiffly, my fingers drawing random objects in that cold, dark mud—a flame, a feather, a sword plunging through a crown—until I could no longer stand the silence or the dismal mood settling over us.
“On a scale of one to ten,” I said with as much humor as I could muster, “how hopeless would you say I am?”
Mai knelt beside me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“I’d say you’re around a six or seven,” Valas said.
“Be quiet,” the Serpent Goddess snapped.
“What?” He yawned. “I didn’t sayten, now did I?”
I rose to my feet and stretched, trying to work the soreness from my bones and loosen up my muscles in hopes of trying again. I couldn’t end the day without at least abitmoreprogress.
I looked once more to the hilltop I’d been trying to reach. Moth and Zell were still there, now curled up together. Moth slept using Zell’s golden flank as a pillow. The selakir was sniffing at the air, searching the space where my ghostly apparition had been minutes ago, his ears twitching beside his stubby antlers.
He must have felt me staring because his head swiveled toward me, intelligent black eyes meeting mine and holding them.
We stared at one another until he gave a sudden snort and a swish of his tail. Then he was rising elegantly to his feet and trotting down to me, leaving Moth without a pillow; the griffin voiced his displeasure with a loud wail that lasted until Valas aimed an icy spell in his direction.
As the grass turned to frozen, glittering blades beneath him, Moth rose with a huff and shot upwards, disappearing into the sky.
Zell circled me, tossing his slender head about and stamping his hooves. He seemed eager to run—and to take me with him.
I drew him close and stroked the bridge of his nose, considering the offer for only a few seconds before I made up my mind.
“I’ll be back,” I told the others, swinging onto Zell’s back. “I need to clear my head.”
Mai nodded, frowning thoughtfully.
Valas gave me a salute and then laid back in the grass, crossing his arms behind his head, looking happy for the opportunity to take a nap. It would likely be a short one; Moth was hovering high above him, and I suspected the griffin was preparing some sort of revenge for the Winter God’s icy attack.
Part of me wanted to stay around to watch that, but instead, I urged Zell into a gallop without any particular destination in mind.
He didn’t need much encouragement to reach his full speed. Nor did he care that I’d given him no direction. He would likely have run without ceasing to the very ends of the heavens if I’d let him, and he would have enjoyed every stride.
When we finally slowed several minutes later, trotting to a stop next to a small pond I didn’t recognize, my hands were shaking from a strange combination of exhilaration and anxiety. My hair had shaken loose from the elaborate braids Rieta had woven it into. My heart was racing. My thoughts were pounding...but also clearing.
I looked back in the direction I believed the palace to be in, and images of what I needed to do—and what was at stake—flashed through my mind.
I couldn’t keep running away.
I had to figure this out.