Page 86 of Flame and Sparrow

If Iwereto ascend, I supposed I would be something similar to these beings. Some felt stronger than others, I thought, and I wondered if I…

No. It doesn’t matter.

I would not get that far. This ruse would be over before that point. I didn’t know how it would all end, but Dravyn had made one good point a few minutes ago: I needed to focus on surviving tonight, and then the next trial. The Tower of Ascension and its secrets would be next, and after that…

We’d see.

As I approached the group of gods and spirits, the Ice God put his arm around me and drew me closer. “I knew she could do it, of course,” he told the small crowd before us. “She made the trial look easy, didn’t she?”

Before the compliment had time to warm its way through me, Mairu cleared her throat and said, “Didn’t I hear you betting several casks of wine that there was no way she would ever emerge in one piece?”

Valas’s grin never faltered as he tilted his head closer to mine and whispered, “She’s a dirty liar and a snake, don’t listen to her.”

Mairu rolled her eyes but smiled as her gaze fell on me, her expression brightening with the same relief she’d regarded me with earlier. I didn’t know what to do with that relief anymore than I knew what to do with Dravyn’s concern, so I just averted my eyes and tried to fade into the background, my head swimming with thoughts of the trials still waiting for me.

The restof the night passed in a blur.

I just wanted to go back to the privacy of my room and collapse into bed, but the visiting Marr simply would not leave. It felt like an extension of the Star Goddess’s trial. Like they were trying to see how long they could keep me awake before I started begging for mercy.

I was close to dozing off while standing up when Valas gave me a pat on the head and wished me a good night, and I looked around and realized that nearly all the others had slipped away as well, though the simmering energy of the Marr’s magic still lingered.

Of those Marr, only Dravyn remained. He was busy extinguishing candles, talking with a servant who was assisting him. When I started uncertainly toward the door, he looked over and caught my gaze, and I slowed to a stop before I realized what I was doing.

He didn’t speak, but I could understand the meaning in his expression easily enough; I believe we were thinking the same thing: His palace was his own again, free of all the other Marr and their servants.Finally. The ordeal was finished. The meetings were over, the trial was done.

I could finally go back to bed. So the question was, why was I still standing in the middle of the room, feeling unfinished?

An answer struck me immediately, even though I didn’t want to think it: I didn’t like the way our conversation had ended earlier. The regret I felt over fighting with him weighed me down, even now, holding me in place as he dismissed his servant and then sauntered closer.

How stupid.

So what if we’d fought? I wasn’t here to get along with him. Only to prove myself so I could get what I wanted. The more we hated each other, the easier it would be to betray him at the end of all of this.

I avoided his gaze and looked toward the window behind him, expecting to see a sky beginning to lighten as morning approached. It felt like I’d been up all night—but I suppose that meant nothing when this god before me controlled the sun itself. It was still pitch black outside, and who knew how long the night would last.

“You’re angry with me,” he said as I continued to stare at anything but him. It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

Just anticipating your next lecture, I startedto snap. I caught myself, however; there was no point in arguing or complicating things between us even further.

“Nothing to say?” he prodded. “This is a first.”

I finally met his eyes but kept my lips pressed tightly together. I hadplentyto say, but nothing good would come from any of it.

He folded his arms across his broad chest and tilted his head as he considered me, his silver eyes shining and an arrogant little smile flirting with his lips. “Or maybe you’ve just forgotten your lines, Little Sparrow?”

“My lines?”

“This is the part where you tell me to go fuck myself, isn’t it?”

I glared at him.

He was going to insist on arguing and complicating things between us even further, wasn’t he?

“Go on, then.” He arched a brow. “Don’t get shy on me now.”

“I’m not shy.”

“Your cheeks are flushed in a way that suggests otherwise.”

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