Page 68 of Flame and Sparrow

Moth chirped in agreement at this, nuzzling his head into the folds of my shirt.

“I think he likes you,” Dravyn commented.

My cheeks flushed a bit at the suddenly friendlier, almost admiring tone of his voice; I couldn’t help it.

“Probably because you’re both cantankerous, stubborn little assholes,” he added, after a moment of thought.

“See, and now you’ve ruined the moment.”

The god grinned fully at this, and the sight of it caused my cheeks to burn hotter. More of his tricks. I had not come here to fall for them, or to share any sort of smilingmomentwith him.

Tilting my face away to hide my frustration with myself, I lifted my hands to encourage Moth to fly away. As he playfully swooped and dove his way around the room, I went to stare out of the nearest window and collect myself.

I could feel Dravyn watching me. I heard him stepping closer, and then he said, “A truth for a truth?”

I kept my eyes on the hills, searching for the horses I’d seen earlier. “What do you mean?”

He moved even closer, his voice dropping lower so only I could hear it. “I told you the truth about what I saw when I found you in the prison cell. I also insisted that Mairu stop hiding in the guise of my servant and revealhertrue self. So now you tell me: There was another reason you went to Harithyn the other day, wasn’t there? You weren’t simply bored, and you weren’t fooled by Valas’s charms. You’re smarter than that. So what were you trying to find in the Death God’s territory?”

I didn’t reply right away, but my hand automatically reached for the sparrow hanging from my neck. I caught myself mid-reach and hugged my arms around myself instead.

“My curiosity simply got the better of me, I’m afraid,” I said with a shrug. “It was foolish, I know.”

He didn’t argue. He simply stared out of the window with me for several minutes before he said, “I don’t know what answers you were hoping to find in Zachar’s territory or elsewhere, but this is not the sort of place where you can wander as you please. At least, not if you hope to survive long enough to have a chance to die in the official trials awaiting you.”

The trials.

I didn’t particularly want to think about them, but they felt like a safer subject than what had happened with the Death Marr. “So these trials…” I began, drumming my fingers against my arm. “…Are the other courts already preparing them?”

“They know I’ve collected a potential ascendant. Beyond that, I don’t know their progress; we have a meeting this evening, in this very spot, on the matter.” He gestured toward the table in the center of the space.

“One I can’t attend, I assume.”

He shook his head.

Silence settled between us, stretching until he said something I never would have expected, his voice still quiet and meant only for us: “I will give you one last chance to leave before it begins, no questions asked.”

It took me a moment to reply. “What about the rules? I’ve seen too much, remember?”

A shadow of doubt crossed his face, but he quickly chased it away with a shrug and a confident, crooked smile. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’d broken a few rules,” he said. “We have other things distracting us here, and you haven’t officially started any of the trials, so there’s a case to be made, I think—and there’s magic that can erase what you’ve seen, besides.”

“Erase my memories?” I said, startled.

He nodded.

“That sounds worse than failing the trials.”

“Does it?” He gave me a curious look. “Worse than death?”

My gaze dropped to my boots as I relived my final moment with Andrel by the river—the conversation, the crushing weight of expectation, the desperate way my heart had squeezed as he looked at me.

Don’t lose your anger.

Don’t stop until you’ve destroyed them.

I couldn’t go home. I didn’thavea home unless I succeeded at what I’d set out to do. If I went back now, nothing would change, and I would only be disappointing all of the people I loved. All the people I’d lost.

Dravyn was still watching me curiously as I searched for the right words. The smart words. The safe words. My hand pressed against my face, feeling for the scars I’d kept buried for so long. I didn’t have to hide them in this palace, he’d said.

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