Page 177 of Flame and Sparrow

It must have been.

I considered my next words carefully. Andrel didn’t know that I knew about the compromised barrier, or any of the attacks I’d witnessed while on the divine side of things; I wanted to see what else I could learn by feigning ignorance.

“This veilyou mentioned…it’sa sort of wall separating us from the divine realm, you mean?” I began, in the most confused tone I could muster. “I didn’t realize such a thing was accessible from our world.”

“There are very few places where the phenomenon of a thin veil occurs.”

“Is it possible to pass through it if you finish ripping it away?”

“Possible? Yes,” he said, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “And it’s all becoming more plausible by the day. As I said…next time our weapons will manage to peel it back completely.”

My palms were covered in sweat by this point. I should have asked what he planned to do once that veil was ripped aside. Ineededto ask. But fear had already tied my stomach into knots, and now it was working on doing the same to my tongue.

He pushed away from the fireplace, moving toward the window, hands clasped behind his back. “We’ve been working on doing exactly that for some time now.”

“How long?” My nerves tingled, remembering my conversation with Cillian in the attic. “And who do you mean bywe?”

“You already know of the cities in the north that Kinnara spoke of the last time she was here. The ones surrounded by protective, anti-divine magic?Cowardkeeps, your sister called them.”

“Yes. You called them that, too.”

“And I stand by it. Because most of the ones who live within the walls of those cities are content to stay hidden and forget everything about who we once were. But not all. Among the ones who created the city shields, there were a few scholars smart enough to realize the full potential of this inverse power they’d discovered. They saw that we could create offensive spells with it, too, and thought this was a discovery worth researching more closely.”

“And you decided to join them?”

“The decision was your sister’s idea, actually. She was one of the movement’s earliest supporters, and she dragged me into it.”

I wanted to call him a liar.

Something held the word back, and his revelation simply settled like another stone upon my back, casually tossed onto the weight I was already carrying, threatening to be the last blow that finally brought me to my knees.

“She was the one who showed me the first weapon,” Andrel said. “And I didn’t really believe in the potential like she did—that is, not until a few years ago.”

The walls felt like they were closing in around me. Quietly, I asked, “What happened a few years ago?”

Even though I already knew the answer, I was determined to make him admit that he’d been keeping this devastating secret from me for years.

He hesitated.

My chest burned from the effort of holding in all my vicious words as I fought to maintain my act. Suddenly I had to work very hard to remember what these conversations had once sounded like between us—how we had spoken to one another when we were still allies trying to sort through plans together.

“I want to do more to help,” I told him, evenly. “But how can I if you insist on keeping me in the dark about things?”

His eyes narrowed—with curiosity, more than suspicion, I thought. I hoped.

I held my breath.

“You want to know the full truth about your sister? Are you sure?”

I exhaled slowly. “It’s all I ever wanted.”

“Very well, then.” He picked a loose thread from his sleeve, and in the same callously casual voice as before he said, “Your sister went to the divine realm six years ago. Much like you, she had a plan to assimilate with the gods and steal their secrets, find their weaknesses—and, in her case—to gather materials.”

“Materials for these weapons she was experimenting with,” I managed to whisper.

He nodded.

I closed my eyes. It wasn’t difficult to appear rattled by what he’d just told me. Even though I already knew it, it still felt as though I hadn’t recovered from learning it the first time.

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