Page 33 of Flame and Sparrow

“We’ve had our hands full since you disappeared on us,” he said. “Our base was completely overrun with soldiers we think were sent by King Eldon.”

“Which suggests he and the religious order in Cauldra are even more tightly intertwined than we feared,” Saphiel said, frowning as she joined us.

As recent as a decade ago, few kings in this realm would have cared about what happened at any temple dedicated to any god. But now the worship of the Marr and their Creators had become the norm rather than the exception. Demonstrations like the one we’d pulled off in Cauldra were only going to get more dangerous.

The tides shift, and so too must our tactics.

I gave my head a little shake. “So the manor…”

“No telling what will remain of it when we go back.” Andrel’s voice sounded distant, as if another part of him had been lost and left behind along with that manor.

“We all got away fine, thanks to your warning,” said Cillian. “But they were tearing the city of Habostad apart when we left the area. Tarsis and Teshur as well…and some of the other smaller villages nearby; the soldiers were trying to bleed information out of the residents there. Kinnara and her followers stayed to run interference, along with several of our usual helpers, which is partly why it took us so long to reach you.”

“But I had people here, too, watching the prison tower from the moment we tracked you to it,” Saphiel put in. “We were prepared to intervene the instant things started looking deadly—whatever the cost.”

Whatever the cost.

She said it to reassure me, but it only made the pit in my stomach widen. The costs of all our battles felt as though they were adding up faster than we could pay them.

Cillian glanced back toward the city we’d left behind. Several miles away from us, I guessed, but the thick haze of smoke hovering over it was obvious even from this distance. “It all went downhill faster than we expected it to.”

“Luckily you lasted longer on that platform than any human would have,” Andrel said.

“Longer than mostelveswould have,” Cillian mused. “I knew you were tough, but I thought…” His eyes glazed over, and I suspected he was thinking of the night we lost my sister.

I fixed my gaze on some sort of creature shuffling in a nearby pile of leaves, determined not to let my mind run away with the same painful memories.

“I honestly thought we were going to be too late,” Cillian finished quietly.

I still wasn’t convinced theyhadn’tbeen too late.

Holding my breath, I glanced at my wrist. No godmark on my skin. No surprise there, really…yet I hadn’t burned to a crisp.

How had I survived, if the God of Fire and his promised protection had been a mirage?

I stepped out of Cillian and Andrel’s supportive reach, testing my weak, undernourished legs. I feared they might collapse right out from under me, but I couldn’t make myself keep still. The rest of my rescue group gathered around and embraced me one by one, and I basked in their familiar company for several minutes as I tried to regain my composure and catch my breath.

Andrel watched me curiously as I moved among the others, maybe still trying to make sense of how I’d survived. I wished I could explain it myself; I felt like a ghost trying to convince myself and everyone else I was still alive, that I’d been here all along.

I forced a reassuring smile despite the uncertainty that overtook me as I stepped back to my companions. “I’m fine, really. You all were just in time.” Eager to change the subject, I asked, “So where do we go from here?”

Andrel and Cillian exchanged loaded glances, but they clearly hadn’t come to a consensus on the matter.

“You two really do fall apart when I’m not here to make decisions for you, don’t you?” I teased.

Andrel smirked, averting his eyes, while Cillian gave a sheepish shrug and said, “We’ve been debating.”

“If you’ve truly caught the king’s eye,” said Saphiel, brusquely inserting herself into the conversation as she had a tendency to do, “it would make sense to lay low for a while—perhaps somewhere like Hael? I have a cousin there who may be able to help you; she’s both knowledgeable and well-equipped to hide a few fugitives.”

Fugitives.

My heart sank at the word. I wanted to go back to our home, and I could tell—by the clench of his jaw at Saphiel’s suggestion—that Andrel wanted the same thing. I hated this feeling of being adrift, of fighting for a home that didn’t have a foundation, running from one battle to the next without stopping to catch our breath.

It’s not like it was the first time I’d been displaced, though. I would manage. I always had, and yet…

Baring my teeth, I couldn’t help turning my arm over and over, still searching for the mark I knew wasn’t going to be there. Had it really been a dream? It had felt so real, so tantalizingly close to a different way of fighting. A chance of breaking the exhausting cycle I’d been living for so long.

My hands clenched into fists, nails digging into my palms hard enough to sting. I felt a strange sense of abandonment.Abandonment.By a god I was growing more and more convinced I’d hallucinated. How stupid was I?

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