Page 197 of Flame and Sparrow

Meanwhile, Dravyn moved toward a mirrored cabinet in the corner, studying his reflection with a frown, then twisting to better examine his right side. His shirt was singed all along that side, and when he pulled the damaged fabric aside, it revealed a jagged shaped wound of seared, bloody skin.

I jumped immediately back to my feet. “You’re injured.”

“Barely.” He smiled through a very obvious bite of pain. His gaze darted toward the doorway, where Rieta had just appeared. Her eyes were filled with unspoken questions; he simply nodded, and she seemed to understand what he needed.

She disappeared only to return a short time later with a bundle of healing supplies. I intercepted her as she made her way toward Dravyn, taking over the things she’d brought; after all the lies and trouble I’d put him through lately, the least I could do was help bandage his wounds.

I pointed him sternly toward a chair next to the bookshelf in the corner. He obeyed with a slightly amused grin, shrugging out of his shirt as he went.

I held in a gasp as I saw the full extent of his injury. The bloody burn traveled nearly the entire length of his side, branching out like lightning against his skin. It made me think of the cracks of energy branching out across the veil, too, and I suddenly felt lightheaded.

“So the gods are capable of bleeding after all,” I mumbled, kneeling beside him and dabbing away some of the blood. It was darker than human blood. Thicker.

“At least in this form,” he said. “There’s a price to pay for holding on to your humanity, I suppose.”

I bit my lip, trying not to lose my nerve. I used to hate thinking that the gods might be invincible; now I only wished it was true.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” His eyes were closed, voice slightly faint, as he took my shaking hand and pressed it against his chest for a moment, steadying it.

I steeled myself with a deep breath and continued to work.

I should have been focusing solely on that work, but it would have been a lie to say parts of me weren’t buzzing over the chance to touch him again. Just days ago, I’d been certain I would never see him again. But here he was, real and solid and warm beneath my fingertips.

And the thought of anything happening to this solid, real body filled me with a terror unlike anything I’d ever known. I just kept staring at the dark, burned edges of his wound and thinking of the dark, shriveled edges of the stone I’d stabbed weeks ago.

My hand pressed against a particularly rough patch of burned skin.

He sucked in a breath.

“I used to think gods weren’t even capable of feeling pain,” I said, trying to keep my voice light and even.

“It isn’t the same sensation as when I was a human,” he replied after a pause. “But…yes. It still hurts.”

“A flaw in your Creator’s design?”

“An intended feature, I’ve always thought.” His eyes fluttered open, and he stared at the ceiling as he continued, “As long as we can at least vaguely remember what it feels like to be in pain, it makes us less likely to inflict pain upon mortals.” He was quiet for a long time before he continued. “Pain is one thing, though. Death is another. And not a thing I believed our kind were subject to, unless it was at the hands of the upper-gods we serve…but apparently, I was mistaken.”

“Yes,” I said softly. “Valas told me about what happened to the Storm God’s servant.”

His brow furrowed. “The situation has certainly escalated.”

All my mistakes flashed through my mind again, relentlessly loud and bright.

“I should apologize again,” I blurted out. “More thoroughly. I feel like I caused so much of this. I know I should have told you what I knew sooner, but I was confused. Afraid. And I understand why you sent me away, but I just…I just hope we can…”

He shook his head. “That isn’t the main reason I sent you away.”

I froze with my hand hovering just above his injury. “It wasn’t?”

His face tilted toward me. “It would have been somewhat hypocritical of me to banish you over the secrets you kept, given the ones I kept from you for so long.”

“Then what was the real reason?”

“It was because I…” He closed his eyes again. Took a deep breath. “I panicked.”

“…Panicked? You?”

He hesitated, his eyes clenching tighter, as if trying to squeeze away an unwanted image in his mind. “It’s been a long time since I’ve let myself really…care about anyone. I’ve failed to protect too many in the past. I’ve been too late, too many times. So I thought it would be easier if I…” He trailed off with a sigh.

---