Page 172 of Flame and Sparrow

I stiffened and forced myself to meet—and hold—his gaze. “Is that a threat?”

“No. Just a friendly bit of advice to keep you safe.” He smiled as he grabbed Shadow’s bridle and turned him toward the stable. “Because there have been a lot of monster sightings in this realm lately.”

* * *

I returnedto my old room because I didn’t know where else to go.

I drifted like a ghost through it, haunting the paths of my former life, trying to understand how I’d died and why I’d been sent back to this dark place to relive all of my mistakes.

Exhaustion pulled at every part of me. I tried to rest but found myself unable to stop tossing and turning in a bed that suddenly felt too small, too stiff, too cold.

After my third failed attempt at a nap, I slipped away from the room and went to another of my old haunts, climbing the broken staircase of stone up to my tucked-away spot in the attic. I wove through the dust and cobwebs as I had a hundred times before, making my way to the section that jutted out over the rest of the manor and provided me with an expansive view of the yard and the marigold fields beyond it.

The sun was setting, brilliant and blood red, but the fields were dull, now, their blooms already ushered into hiding by the first frosts of autumn. There was still a stark, sweeping beauty to the view…but it was not the same.

Even if the flowers had still been bright, I had a feeling the sight wouldn’t have made my heart race the way it once did. Everything seemed dull in comparison to the time I’d spent at Dravyn’s side.

I sat down and pulled my legs to my chest, breaths shaky with my efforts to keep my emotions from overwhelming me, yet again.

“I thought I might find you here.”

The sound of Cillian’s voice sent a deep and drumming pain beating through me, like someone deliberately pounding against a bruise over my heart.

I kept my gaze narrowed on the faded fields as he came closer.

“Karys?”

I glanced his way, guarding myself against another surge of emotion. “What?”

He frowned at the curt tone of my voice.

I started to turn my gaze back to the fields, but stopped as I saw what was in his hands: The bag I’d carried from the divine realm.

“Andrel told me to sort through it and see if there was anything we could use,” he said, offering it to me, “but it didn’t seem right going through your things. So…I thought we could discuss any potentially useful objects and information you had—together. If you feel up to it, that is.”

Wordlessly, I took the bag from him and pawed quickly through it, checking the contents. Everything was still there. It felt like a miracle after such a constant barrage of bad luck and betrayals, yet it did little to soothe the raw ache in my heart.

I mumbled something that sounded likethanks,cinched the bag tightly shut, and tucked it underneath my legs before I curled them back toward me.

Cillian sat down beside me. A few minutes passed, during which I tried to ignore him, and he sighed, readjusting his position multiple times, until finally he said, “I also wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about what happened the last time you were here.”

I lifted my head from my knees but didn’t look at him.

“I didn’t realize the extent of what Andrel had done until I spoke with him later. And it happened so fast.” He picked up a broken bit of plaster, breaking it into smaller pieces before hurling them at the spiderwebs clinging to the nearest rafters. “I didn’t knowwhatwas happening, to be honest, and I was only trying to make sense of it all and keep control over the situation and everyone who was here, watching it unfold. I didn’t mean to turn away from you.”

The image of him doing precisely that—of his eyes meeting mine and looking away while Dravyn’s fires closed protectively around me—fell into my head. Another pounding fist struck my bruised heart.

“Forgive me?” he whispered. “Please?”

I closed my eyes and breathed several deep lungfuls of the stale, dusty air. I wasn’t sure my calloused and increasingly suspicious self was capable of forgiveness anymore. But I didn’t outright dismiss him. I couldn’t bring myself to do that, either, even though I tried.

Instead, after a moment of thought, I said, “Tell me the truth about something first.”

“Anything.”

“Did you know that Savna went to the divine realm shortly before she died? That she attempted to assimilate herself with the gods, same as me?”

He stared, mouth slightly agape.

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