Page 168 of Flame and Sparrow

“Go away.” I turned and started to walk. “I’m warning you.”

I sensed him staring after me, and soon heard the unstable flutter of his damp wings as he took to the air. He followed me at a short distance, keeping up as best he could, occasionally tumbling to the ground and scampering along it for a few steps before flapping his way back into the air.

I tried to ignore him. Even as he butted his head into my back and tried to grab at my clothing with his mouth, I kept walking.

He eventually grew agitated, his collisions becoming harder and more frantic. He struck me hard on the shoulder, talons tangling in my hair, and I felt the heat around his body building, threatening combustion.

I swatted him away as I finally spun around, my words tearing out of me before I could stop them. “You stupid beast—LEAVE ME ALONE!”

He shrank away, tumbling to the ground as his wings folded to his sides. Flames danced around the edges of his body, but he didn’t fully ignite. He just sat perfectly still, staring at me.

I said nothing else.

I couldn’t; my heart was pounding too painfully to properly breathe, much less speak.

Moth let out a soft, mournful purr before flapping back into the air, hovering for a moment, then darting up into the dark sky. Seconds later, he was gone, his flaming tail disappearing within the wisps of a low-hanging cloud.

I was completely alone.

Another self-inflicted wound—and the last blow my heart could stand. The vertigo and nausea from my travels hit me worse than before. I sank to my knees, hands falling to the cold dirt, digging into it, trying to cling to something, anything.

I couldn’t keep going.

I had nowhere to go, and it was my fault. I’d held on to my old beliefs and all my anger too tightly, too completely, when I should have just told Dravyn the truth. I should have told him how I felt. Despite all of the times he had proven himself to be completely different than I’d expected, I’d remained stubborn, blind, determined to convince myself I was right.

I’d been so, so wrong.

I realized it now, but it didn’t matter.

Because I would never see him again.

And what would become of him when the rest of the gods found out everything about me? Would he be punished and shunned, as the Death Marr had been? All the times he’d protected me, cared for me…

They would be his undoing, while I was stuck here, a world away, unable to do anything to fix it.

My hands shook against the dirt. I felt my strength leaving me, all the things I carried growing heavier, pushing me down, down, down.

In a blink, I lost my balance. My face hit the ground. I couldn’t summon the energy to lift my damp, trembling body from the earth, so I stopped fighting.

I let the dizziness overtake me, and my thoughts and everything else spun away, leaving me in total darkness.

* * *

When I forced my bloodshot,weary eyes open again, sunlight was filtering through the trees. The air had warmed. Birds sang and tiny creatures stirred in the leaves all around me.

And I wasn’t alone.

A woman I didn’t recognize knelt beside me, her hand braced against my shoulder. “Are you all right, dear?”

The weight of the question made me want to drop my face back into the dirt.

When I didn’t reply, she turned away and gestured toward someone I couldn’t see in the distance, calling for help. Moments later, I heard the heavy footsteps and low, grumbling voice of what sounded like an older male.

Together, the two of them hauled me to my feet and dragged me to their nearby horse and cart, securing me in a wagon full of neatly packed supplies; they were returning from a visit to the market, it seemed.

We bumped and rattled along a dirt road for a mile or so before we reached a small cottage that smelled of dried flowers and wood smoke. They helped me inside, leading me to a small bed with cold, scratchy sheets.

I was too weak to protest much. The heady floral scent was overwhelming in a not-entirely-unpleasant way, and the bed grew more comfortable the longer my body warmed it.

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