Page 110 of Flame and Sparrow

“I don’t know how I would collect what we need,” I said, forcing my claws to retract as I rubbed the back of my neck, “but…well…”

“But I’ve no doubt you can figure it out.” He jumped to his feet again, head tilting back and taking in the entirety of the manor looming over us as though he was staring at one of those Creation Towers, imagining all the possibilities. “Even just apiecefrom one of those buildings might be a valuable material for us. Do you realize what we might be able to build with it?”

I did.

I just wasn’t sure I wantedto think about it anymore today.

I feigned an exhilarated expression all the same, mirroring his. We’d genuinely reflected one another’s excitement so often over the past years that I was able to make my face convincing despite the uncertainties gnawing at my insides.

“It’s going to unite us all, Karys,” he said, breathlessly. “All the squabbles between our kind will be over, and we’ll finally be able to stand our ground against the gods, the humans…all of them. We’ll have power, and a place in this world again.”

He walked circles around the yard, continuing to list possibilities and promises, and I gave a more earnest smile at this; the subject and implications of our conversation aside, it was nice to be back in his company, listening to his passionate ideas. Nobody shared my love of making plans and connecting the dots of things like he did—the ink staining his fingers was no doubt from notes he’d been studying all afternoon, and I was certain he was itching to rush back to his desk and start jotting down more thoughts about our conversation.

He eventually stopped his rambling, circled back to me, and picked up the knife. “You should take this with you when you go back to the divine realm. You can test it on things and take notes, maybe.”

My perfectly composed reflection of his excitement cracked a tiny bit.

I pulled myself back together almost instantly, but he still caught the break, and his demeanor shifted quickly from excited to concerned.

“This is…a lot, I know,” he began uncertainly.

“It is, but I can handle it.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Just tired.” I plastered on another smile, brighter than before. “I don’t think I’m fully recovered from my journey here, even now—turns out traversing the realms is an exhausting pastime.”

He chuckled and offered his hand. “Who knew?”

He pulled me to my feet. We stood for a moment in the soft glow of the afternoon sun, both of us lost in thought. It had rained these past days, so the sun had been something of an afterthought—but it was bold and beautiful now, and I was struck by how different it was from the forgelight Dravyn had created. Less harsh. A much warmer shade of gold. And yet…

He’d created that light and regulated its cycles so they mimicked this mortal sun solely for my benefit, he’d said.

A monster, but a monster who had gifted me the sun. Who had offered me healing in every way he could after my trials…and then let me go when he saw no other way to aid in that healing. He was still the villain. I couldn’t forget that. It was just…

In my head, I’d written our story much differently.

My hand reached absently for my ribs, testing their soreness. Still tender, but not nearly as bad as before. How much longer could I justify staying in this realm? I had to go back, and likely soon; every day I spent here was probably making things more complicated for the Shade Court—and thus, more difficult for me whenever I returned.

Cillian cleared his throat, interrupting my rambling thoughts, and then quietly said, “Savna would be proud of you, you know.”

I froze at the mention of my sister, all of my questions and other concerns falling away. My hand started for my cheek. My scars.

Cillian—who’d witnessed me scratching those scars more often and more viciously than anyone—automatically reached up and caught my hand, gently guiding it away from my face.

Determined not to reach for them again, I fidgeted with the bracelet Dravyn had given me instead.

“I just thought you might need the reminder,” Cillian said. “If she were here, she’d tell you the same thing.” He smiled wistfully as he added, “And she’d have some rousing, encouraging speech to give you, too, I’m sure—sorry I’m not as good at that part.”

“It’s okay. I know what you mean.”

He put his arm around me and we started toward the house. I tried to relax against him as I’d done so many times, sinking into his strength and his clean, citrusy scent. He had always been my confidante. My protector. The older brother who stepped in and carried me when the weight of my sister’s memories and everything else got too heavy.

As I clutched the knife he’d given me, I hoped against hope that none of that would ever change.

Chapter31

Another two days passed.I kept waiting for the God of Fire to lose his patience and call me back. For his fiery eagle form to swoop down from the clouds, snatch me up in his talons and carry me off. To steal me away, as all of my kind believed he’d done last time.

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