“I told myself I wouldn’t kiss you again until the curse is removed.”
My mouth fell open. “Why?”
She finally lifted her head to peek at me. “If removing the curse removes the heartbond, then I’ll know if it’s just the magic affecting me.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
Her lips pursed. “I don’t know.”
My mood deflated. “I suppose I should get dressed,” I mumbled, more to myself than to Zidra.
We didn’t speak much as we finished getting ready and then waited for Sajen. We made our way through Gamnica in silence, past sleepy townspeople going to their shops. Sajen kept glancing at us both through narrowed eyes as if he suspected something was off, but he didn’t ask.
As per our agreement with theTristan’s captain, we took up posts to keep watch for sea serpents. We’d offered to help the crew, but the idea of untrained hands getting in the way had made Captain Hulme grimace. Although theTristanhad a single mast and square sail, it was long andwide, with two decks and a high sterncastle, and as such, it had a crew of forty people. While not a common problem, sea serpents did occasionally attack ships off the Glacorian coast, so standing on the edges of the upper deck was both useful and kept us out of the crew’s way.
Of course, Hulme was happy to host rengiri on his ship, regardless—probably hoping our presence would ensure favorable winds and safe ports. He had offered his cabin in the sterncastle for our comfort, but Zidra had immediately refused. I smiled fondly at her, although her back was to me as she stood at the ship’s bow. She was the most hardworking and honorable rengir I knew.
But as it turned out, she was also the least seafaring rengir I knew. Within an hour of our casting off, Zidra stumbled away from the ship’s bow toward the hatch to the lower deck, looking rather green. Alarmed, I started toward her, but Sajen reached her first.
“Seasick?” he called.
Zidra nodded and pressed her hand to her stomach. “I’m going to go lie down—”
“That won’t help,” Sajen and I said in unison.
Zidra grimaced. “Then what will?”
“Switching positions, for one.” Sajen motioned her toward the spot midship where he had been standing. “Less movement in the middle than at the ends. Keep your eyes on the horizon and try to breathe slow and steady. I’ll ask the captain if he has any ginger…”
Reluctantly, I left Zidra in Sajen’s care and returned to my own post. I wasn’t sure it would help with a physicalailment, but I tried to send soothing sensations through the heartbond anyway. Maybe that was overstepping given her apparent hope that destroying the ice curse would remove the heartbond, but if she really didn’t want me to do it, surely she’d send some kind of angry message back. Since I didn’t sense any displeasure from her, only annoyance that seemed more directed at the rocking of the ship than at me, I decided she at least didn’t mind.
By nightfall, Zidra had grown accustomed enough to sea travel that she was able to fall asleep below deck, but sleep evaded me. The creaking of the ship and muffled sound of ship hands occasionally calling to each other on deck kept me awake despite the rhythmic swinging of my hammock. Or maybe it was my confused thoughts about the woman lying little more than an arm’s length away. She kept pushing me away and pulling me in only to push me away again, as changing as the tides. My heart couldn’t take much more of this. If she wouldn’t commit one way or the other, I’d take matters into my own hands and leave.
Everything in me rebelled at the thought, but I knew there was no alternative.
Tomorrow we would reach Seath Inlet, where I prayed we would find Rouven. Then he would save Zidra’s life—I had to believe he could.
After that?
Either I’d start courting Zidra officially, or we would part ways.
Iskyr…
I fumbled for words to express the yearnings of my heart.
Do what you will.
Iskyr had placed Zidra and me in the same class at Harcos, had put us both in the Order, and had linked us with a heartbond. Perhaps there was a reason.
As much as it hurt to admit, though, that reason could just be saving Zidra from the ice curse and assassins.
I wouldn’t be angry about that, though. If Zidra and I weren’t meant to be together, at least she was alive.
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but a man’s voice and someone gently prodding my shoulder woke me. I lurched upright and tumbled out of the hammock, landing with a thud on the unforgiving wood floor.
“Sorry!” Boots scurried backward, likely belonging to the sailor who had awoken me.
“Ow.” Rubbing my hip, I sat up with a groan.