Page 58 of Ties of Frost

“Why under Iskyr’s great sky would they do that?”

As we left the coast and entered the noisy streets of theshipping district, I stepped closer to Sajen so I wouldn’t have to shout. “Wyveri have suffered so much and tried so hard to distance ourselves from the actions of our ancient king that many wyveri see marrying an outsider as a sign you’re ashamed of your own people. They think it makes wyveri look undesirable if we don’t want to marry our own kind.”

Ironically, I’d discovered that this attitude only made wyveri look more suspicious to the other peoples of the empire.

“Even wyveri who do intermarry usually pick another shifter. An elf?” I stepped around a mud-filled pothole and dodged a boy pushing a wheelbarrow full of fish. “Forget ever introducing Kyr to my family.”

“That would be hard,” Sajen acknowledged softly. “Is that all?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

“Is it?”

A group of sailors loitering on a street corner watched us pass. I was wearing trousers and a knee-length tunic today—in dark red, which Kyrundar had definitely noticed—without my armor, but I still had my insignia pinned on my chest and my sword at my hip. The sailors’ gazes roved over our weapons and insignias before they turned away. The shouts of dockhands and the stench of fish pressed against me.

I nibbled on my lower lip, wishing we were somewhere less chaotic where I could think. Yet I didn’t really need to think about it. In my heart, my reasoning rang hollow. Ihad disappointed my family and clan the moment I took my vows. It wasn’t as if I visited the Islands anymore now that I was in the Order. I couldn’t fall much further in wyveri regard.

But I had a chance to improve my standing if I turned my back on Kyrundar.

Sajen already knew how I felt about the Merit ceremony and why I hated accepting help. What did it matter if I told him the truth?

Glimpsing the docks, I turned down a side street. “If I marry him, I can forget about ever outrunning the Kyrmaris moniker or proving my value. I’ll lose any chance of impressing my mother and convincing my people that I am meant to be a rengir. How can I abandon everything I’ve worked so hard for?”

“Hmmm.” Sajen didn’t speak until we reached the end of the street and started walking down the dock toward sailors loading crates onto a ship. But instead of approaching the ship officer barking orders to the crew, Sajen marched past them to the end of the dock. He rested his crossed forearms on top of a piling and gazed out across the Aizurgon Sea.

I hesitated, looking between my friend and the ship’s mate, wondering if I should start interviewing sailors by myself. Instead, I stepped up to Sajen’s side.

He nodded slowly, his gaze unfocused. “I see your predicament. On the one hand, you can part ways with Kyrundar for the uncertain possibility that you might do something grand enough to silence the voices of doubt,perhaps get a second Emperor’s Merit all by yourself, and win the admiration of every person in the empire, the acceptance of your clan, and the begrudging love of a mother you shouldn’t need to impress. On the other hand, you can enter a relationship with a sometimes irritating and overly casual ice elf you work well with and like and who loves, accepts, and admires you as you already are.”

Words failed me. I stared at Sajen, torn between wanting to yell, stomp away, or break down in tears. Yet I could formulate no coherent response to shout at him. Storming off would hardly be the action of a respectable rengir. And I hadn’t cried in front of another person since I was a child.

“Unless you don’t like him,” Sajen said with a noncommittal shrug. “But then we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we?”

No, we would not.

“Give it some thought and ask Iskyr for guidance.” He straightened. “Shall we split up to investigate? With Kyr’s people skills, he’s probably already learned something useful. If we take too long to return to the Haven, he may worry something has happened.”

I waved dismissively. “He’ll just check the bond and…” Realizing what I’d accidentally revealed, I trailed off.

Sajen’s eyebrows arched toward his hairline. “Surely you don’t mean a heartbond?”

“Yes,” I said, my voice so choked the word was scarcely audible.

“You’re not married?” he said, somehow both a statement and a question.

I groaned. “It was a side effect of Kyr using his magic to pull the ice curse back through my body and contain it to the puncture site. Unwanted, unintentional, and…”

“Not as unwelcome as you expected it to be?” Sajen laughed and turned his face toward the pale-blue sky. “Ah, Iskyr. Knew it would take more than a small nudge to get through to these two, eh?” Still laughing, he turned back toward the bustling dock. “Come on, Zidra. Let’s go search for the hermit who hopefully holds the answers you need.”

Twenty-Two

Kyrundar

The emotions I sensed through the heartbond weren’t truly concerning, but they weren’t reassuring, either. Whatever Sajen was talking to Zidra about made her uncomfortable, but not alarmingly so. I released the connection, because her emotions were distracting me from my purpose.

While I hated separating from Zidra, I had to admit Sajen had a point. Zidra was the person to talk to impatient port masters, grumpy clerks, and self-important merchants. I was the person to uncover the gossip in dining establishments.

The scent of delicious roast veal pulled me into a tavern. The barmaid had never heard of Rouven, nor had the tavern’s proprietor, and they just chortled when I asked about Nyksian mead. After the maid delivered my vealhandpie, I wandered over to the other guests. The wolf shifter couple hadn’t heard of Rouven and didn’t know where to buy Nyksian mead, and the balding human sipping an ale while he balanced a ledger only grunted in response to my query.

---