Page 52 of Ties of Frost

Zidra and I gazed into each other’s eyes. I swayed toward her, as if drawn by her magnetism. My gaze dropped to her lips before flicking back to her golden-brown irises.

“You asked why I’ve never wanted any of the women who flirt with me,” I murmured.

Zidra’s breath caught, and she went still as a frozen lake. For a brief moment, I doubted what I was about to say. But then she leaned ever so subtly closer.

“None of them seemed right. I didn’t realize why until a few nights ago.” I gulped as I placed my heart at her mercy. “None of them are you. I wantyou, Zidra.”

Her eyes widened. I couldn’t read her expression, and the hints of emotion I felt through the heartbond were frantic and tangled. A good sign? Or a terrible one? Ipurposefully released the bond so I could focus on what I wanted to say without overanalyzing her emotions.

“I’m in love with you.” My throat was so tight that my voice came out low and hoarse. “I think I’ve loved you since before we graduated; I’ve just been too much of an idiot to see it. You’re my dearest friend, my inspiration, the only person I’ve ever wanted constantly at my side, and I love you.”

Every word squeezed my heart. Something inside me cracked as Zidra gawked at me, her parted lips and pinched expression hardly joyful acceptance and certainly not amorous in return.

Confessing my feelings had been a terrible idea. I’d known that. Yet I was tired of lying to her and to myself.

I almost reached for the heartbond but was too much of a coward.

“Zee?” The nickname sounded like a broken plea on my lips.

For several excruciating heartbeats, she was silent. When she spoke, her voice was a stoic whisper. “Was the heartbond an accident, Ilifir?”

The use of my surname struck me like a physical blow. “I swear it wasn’t a conscious choice. I didn’t know it would happen, and I didn’t intend…” I trailed off, hearing my constant refrain yet again.I didn’t intend.

I hadn’t intended to use Zidra to elevate myself, but that had been the result.

I hadn’t intended to ever hurt her, but I had.

I hadn’t intended to come across as a womanizer, but I had.

I hadn’t intended to create a heartbond that tied Zidra and me together, but I had.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “Tying us together wasn’t intentional. I wasn’t aware of my own feelings yet. But it might have been my fault, and for that, I’m sorry.”

As if she would believe that. What kind of fool doesn’t realize they’re in love?

With my hands clasped in my lap, I leaned back and dropped my gaze. The silence dragged on.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated with a sigh. I forced myself to look at her before I continued. “You were just attacked, it’s the middle of the night, and you’ve made it clear—”

My words cut off in a muffled cry of surprise as Zidra darted forward and pressed her lips to mine with such intensity we bumped together harder than was romantic or comfortable.

She winced and started to pull away. “Sorry—”

This time, I interrupted her apology. I tucked one arm behind her and pulled her close while I slipped my hand under her curls to cradle the side of her neck. Zidra inhaled sharply, but then she relaxed as our lips met. My eyes drifted closed. Her warm hands moved up my arms, and then she wrapped her arms around my neck and shoulders.

The sensation of her fingers toying with my hair while her lips moved against mine sent tingles of lightning through my veins. Needing her closer, I released her neck,grabbed her waist, and pulled her onto my lap. My palms slid against the fabric of her shirt as I pressed against her back and deepened the kiss. Zee made a soft sound of pleasure that made my breathing go ragged. She turned her face away, breaking off the kiss, but her arms tightened around my shoulders. I placed featherlight kisses along her jaw, marveling at how right it felt to finally have her in my arms.

“Kyr,” she panted.

“Zee,” I breathed against her cheek. I moved, searching for her lips once more.

She gulped audibly. “Kyrundar, stop.”

Even though I longed to continue kissing her, I immediately heeded her quiet request. Dropping my arms to my sides, I pulled back and opened my eyes.

Zidra’s entire face was flushed, and her chest heaved as she slowly backed off my lap and sat on the beaten-down grass. Eternal icicles, she was gorgeous. But her wide-eyed gaze darted around the shelter, not meeting mine. Had I misinterpreted that? Made her do something she didn’t want?

I’d never forgive myself if I had.

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