Page 40 of Ties of Frost

Sixteen

Kyrundar

I swear my heart physically ached as I retreated into my snow shelter like a scolded puppy. Not until the words almost escaped my mouth had I realized the truth.

I was in love with Zidra.

And she didn’t feel the same.

I wanted to scream my heartbreak to the stars and Iskyr’s ears, but even if I closed off the entrance to my shelter, snow didn’t insulate sound that well. So instead, I poured out my bruised emotions in silence while I prepared to sleep. My appetite had fled, so I didn’t bother with dinner. After removing my earrings and changing into a pair of loose sleeping trousers, I pulled my blanket over me and prayed.

The holy texts promised Iskyr would understand even that which we could not express in words, which was good,because words had deserted me. Other thanwhy, my prayer was more internal sighs and groans than any coherent complaint or request.

What was Zidra doing? Was she warm enough? Would she be safe out there by herself, unable to shift?

I was being paranoid. She was a capable warrior, and she was a rengir. Iskyr would watch over her.

All the same, I tossed and turned on the grass-covered ground under my shelter. Finally, against my better judgment, I reached for the heartbond.

It lacked the faint heat I’d come to associate with Zidra’s dragon fire. Instead it felt like touching steel.

Was she blocking me? Was that possible?

I was about to pull back when a hint of her emotions bled through. She wasn’t blockingme. She was trying to ignore her own feelings.

But the truth was there, beneath the hardness of her denial.

Zidra was as restless as I was—and hurting, too, although I couldn’t imagine why. She wasn’t the one who had been wordlessly rejected. The mental wall prevented me from getting a clear read on her, but there was sorrow and shame and a confusion of competing emotions. Despite my own hurt, I ached at the pain I sensed in her. I didn’t understand, but how I wished I could soothe her.

The idea intrigued me.CouldI? Could the troublesome bond do something good?

Would she even want that?

Maybe she wouldn’t notice, or wouldn’t realize it was me.

As subtly as possible, I sent calm, comforting impressions through the heartbond. I had no idea if it worked, but I held lightly to the heartbond as I finally drifted to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, it was still dark inside my shelter. I poked my head outside to see Zidra moving through a series of stretches in the pink-tinted light of dawn. After getting dressed, I left my shelter. With a wave of my hand, it burst into snowflakes that swirled away into the forest and would soon melt.

But Zidra was gone.

My heart lodged in my throat. Desperately, I seized the heartbond. It was there, and calm—she was fine. But why would she leave, and without a word?

A shudder of annoyance echoed through the bond. I could almost picture her rolling her eyes and telling me to relax. Was that real or my imagination? Closing my eyes, I focused on the magic binding us. There! I spun around. Somehow, as if the heartbond had become a string connecting us, I knew she was in that direction. She had wandered off into the woods, away from the road. Why would she do that?

The connection was fragile. The moment I stopped fully concentrating on it, I lost it. I found the sense of her location again and took a step forward.

Wait.

What if she was simply relieving herself? Heat burned my ears.

I took care of my own business and then ate a breakfast of dried berries, stale biscuit, and leather-like dried meat.Birds twittered and fluttered through the trees, and squirrels argued with each other. The sun lifted above the horizon, driving away the chill of the night. I started muttering prayers of protection under my breath.

Still Zidra did not return.

She’d left her pack behind, and every time I accessed the heartbond, I felt no distress. If she had decided to continue without me, she would have taken her pack. If she had been kidnapped or attacked, surely she wouldn’t feel so unworried.

At the same time, she was gone, and I could think of no reason why. What if she felt calm because she was unconscious? I didn’t know who would have the nerve or ability to kidnap a rengir, though. Whatever league was hunting her, they wanted her dead, so it couldn’t be them.

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