Page 30 of Ties of Frost

“Wait.” I pointed to one of the beds. “Let me check your arm.”

She drew back and opened her mouth, but then her shoulders caved. Her gaze avoided mine as she moved to sit on the bed without a word. Lips pursed, I sat next to her and untied the bandage.

The wound looked worse, and I had to work to keep my expression neutral. I’d done my best to use my magic to keep the cold from touching Zidra’s skin, but the edges of the puncture wound had taken on a patchy blueish tinge. Frostbite would kill her skin, and the longer it affected her, the harder it would be for any healer to fix the damage.

“It’s worse.” Zidra’s whisper wasn’t a question. “It’s been getting colder since the fight.”

I jerked my head up to glare at her, but she wasn’t looking at me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Anyone could have seen you tending me on the side of the road. It would have raised questions I don’t want to answer.”

I contained my eye roll with effort. “I know you’re displeased about the heartbond, but no one is going to guess at that if they discover my magic is in your arm.”

“This isn’t about the bond!” Zidra stood, and her arm slipped from my loose grip. “That panthera—he mentioned an archon, but then he said he wasn’t a member of anyorder that worshiped Iskyr.”

I frowned, disturbed at the thought. There were few restrictions on how people in the empire worshiped or what exactly they believed, but not honoring the creator god at all? It was incredibly rare.

“He said their archon thought I might not be able to shift. They suspected I couldn’t shift, and they attacked in di’yar anyway. They saw I did not shift, which doubtless confirmed their theory, and yet they did not shift to di’ora.”

Indignation on her behalf made my skin prickle. “They dishonored you—”

“It was more than dishonor!” She whirled to face me. “Don’t you see? They saw me as weak. Not worth honoring. Perhaps they are right. If I were wise enough, I wouldn’t have been ambushed. If I were fast enough, I would not have been struck by the ice curse. If I were strong enough, I could have burned it out myself. And now…now I can’t shift. It could be argued I dishonoredthemby not shifting.”

“But you couldn’t—”

“Exactly! I am half a wyveri. Less than that, as that fight…” She angled away, and her head sagged forward. “It was harder than it should have been.” Her jaw worked. “I don’t want anyone to know. I can’t afford for anyone to know.”

I tried to understand her fear and shame. Certainly, if I found myself unable to wield my magic, it would be a blow, but I could still fight. And… “You’re acting as if it’s your fault. You acted in good faith at Grivolen, and with reason. Idistracted you; you said that yourself. You were caught by surprise by the curse because you thought he was attacking me. Your inability to shift is no more your fault than catching a cold. No one will blame you.”

Zidra laughed, a hollow, empty sound. “You’re not wyveri. How could you understand?” She went to the other bed and sank onto the edge of it. Her fingers curled around the edge of the mattress as she leaned forward. “Your people were not exiled off the continent for the actions of a king so heinous his line was eradicated and his name was wiped from history. Your people do not still mostly keep to their islands, even though the banishment was lifted after only a century, because of how much everyone else distrusts your kind. If they aren’t buying wyvern scales or hunting dogs from us, they want nothing to do with us. An ice elf can’t understand the thin line between respect and fear and how it both isolates and protects us on the continent. A wyveri who can’t shift is no longer the strongest and most feared of the shifters. The derision and suspicion some feel for my people…it is their fear that stops them from acting upon it. I am not merely weak; I am little more than a magicless human.”

I nodded slowly. I’d never admit it, of course, but the first time I saw Zidra as a wyvern, I almost hid behind another student. She was terrifying and spectacular. I’d certainly never choose to fight a wyvern, shifter or not. Another thought occurred to me—if Zidra had been able to access her wyvern form, would the shifters have fled? Would they have dared take on a creature larger andstronger than themselves, with armored scales and the ability to breathe fire and carry her foes into the sky? Such considerations would only reinforce her fears, however.

“If people know…” She gulped. “What if more people than just assassins want to come for me?”

“No.” I shook my head fiercely. “Zidra, you are a beloved member of the Order. People respect you not merely for your powerful wyvern form, but because you are a model rengir. People cheer for you and tell stories of you and part with their precious gold for things you might have touched. Iskyr knows how I pray for a quarter of your humility and tireless dedication.”

She whipped her head up to stare at me. “You what?”

My face heated, but I raised a shoulder in feigned nonchalance. “I admire you, Zidra. Always have. Sometimes with a heaping side of envy, and that admiration also drove me to try to one-up you as a student, but you’re a good rengir, and a good person.” I smiled self-deprecatingly. “I know, because when I volunteered to help the Brothers of Beneficence serve the destitute while we were studying at Harcos, I was competing with you. The perfect model of an aspiring rengir. You helped the Sisters because you wanted to.”

Instead of looking reassured or smug, Zidra hunched. “I didn’t volunteer with the Sisters of Beneficence for altruistic reasons—although I’ll admit, by the time I finished, the Sisters’ eagerness to serve in even the most ignoble capacity had made a deep impression on me. But I did that as penance.”

“Penance?” I sat up straighter. “Whatever for?”

“Erm…” She cleared her throat. “You kept beating me at footraces and obstacle courses, and I was embarrassed and angry, so I…put that ribbon snake in your bed.”

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head, and then I broke down in laughter. “That wasyou?” I flopped back on the bed, tears leaking from my eyes. “Perfect little Zidra Eilmaris put a snake in my bed!”

“You didn’t think it was funny then. I heard your scream all the way down the hall. Which was gratifying until I went to chapel and naturally the passage from the holy text was on living in unity and peace.” She wrapped a curl around her forefinger. “Of course, did I apologize or truly put aside our rivalry? No, although I did try, for a while.” She glared at me, although it held no heat, and I swear the corner of her mouth tipped up. “You’re simply too infuriating to let win.”

I shook my head and snickered. When I checked on the heartbond, I was pleased to find her mood had lightened. “Well, come back here and let me see what I can do about you not listening to the physician’s orders.”

Zidra huffed. “You try fighting without accessing your magic even a little bit.” But she sat next to me and offered her arm.

“Apologies if this hurts.”

“If you can take it, I can.”

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