Page 77 of A Thieving Curse

“Lucas told me what happened,” Meredith said softly. “I heard most of what Alex said. And…I saw what happened between you.”

Raelyn buried her face in her hands as embarrassment heated her neck. “Are you disappointed?”

Meredith shifted. “Yes. But I’m not giving up hope. Maybe you’re just not there yet. Maybe Alex is right. I don’t know. I…” Meredith sniffled, and Raelyn looked up. Meredith was wiping tears from her eyes. “I didn’t realize that’s how he felt. That he’d given up.” She rubbed her hands together, her skin making a quiet whisper as she fidgeted. “What if he needs to believe the curse can be broken for it to break? Even if he doesn’t…”

Meredith took a deep, shaky breath, then her shoulders slumped. “It breaks my heart he’s given up. And I hate that he wouldn’t tell us, although I understand why. We would just try to change his mind.”

“I’m sorry.”

Meredith looked over. “I don’t blame you, dear. Not for his curse not breaking and certainly not for him giving up hope.” She smiled and wiped away the rest of her tears. “That’s not why I’m here. I wanted to make sure you’re all right. Lucas was in a terror over how upset you were. And you seemed surprised by Alex’s kiss. How are you?”

Raelyn scooted back on the bed so she could lean against the wall and drew her knees up to her chest. “I owe Lucas an apology.”

“True, but not what I asked.”

She glanced toward the closed door. “I was furious. I thought Alexander was using me. And now…now I feel like an imbecile.” Now that Raelyn had started talking, she couldn’t stop. “I keep hurting him even when I don’t mean to. And I should have asked without getting accusatory, but I felt soused. Like I had been taken from my family just to be manipulated. And that isn’t what happened at all. And then… He looked so heartbroken.”

Meredith laid a hand on her arm.

“I wish—I wish I could break his curse. Or I wish I could get past his tail and his claws and his horns and love him, anyway.” Maybe some part of her did.She hugged her legs. “I wish he had never been cursed in the first place.”

Meredith rubbed Raelyn’s arm.

“You know what’s stupid?” Raelyn concentrated on the shadows dancing on the wall. “I keep wondering, if he hadn’t been cursed, if I had married him like I was originally supposed to, would he still have loved me? Would we have fallen in love? Or would we have done our duty and never gotten to really know each other? Would he be as kind? Would his teasing have been as endearing? Would his kiss have felt the same?”

Meredith cocked her head, a curious look on her face. “And…how do you feel about Alexander now?”

“I don’t know,” Raelyn groaned. She hid her face in her skirt.I love him. No, I only like him as a friend. I’m afraid of his claws and his tail. I love him. Ican’tlove him.“I don’t know what I’m feeling,” she said into her skirt. “Maybe if I chose to love him, his curse would break, but what if it doesn’t? I don’t know if I can choose to love his curse.” She took a rattling breath and leaned her head back against the stone. “Why did he kiss me!”

Meredith didn’t answer but continued to rub Raelyn’s arm. Raelyn appreciated that she didn’t try to tell her how to feel or what to do. Her emotions were muddled, and she didn’t want someone else trying to sort through them for her.

“I liked it,” Raelyn whispered. She wasn’t sure why she told Meredith, but she needed to tell someone. “His kiss.” She grabbed Meredith’s arm. “But you can’t tell him!”

Meredith patted her hand. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Raelyn released Meredith and sagged back. They sat in silence as she mulled over her conflicted feelings. Finally, Raelyn asked, “Could you do it? Could you love someone like him? Like…that?”

Meredith pursed her lips as she considered. “I’ve lived with him for twelve years. He’s my son as much as Lucas is at this point, and his dragon features don’t bother me. But if I were in your position… I honestly don’t know.”

Some of Raelyn’s guilt eased. “What do I do now?” She tucked loose wisps of hair behind her ear. “I said we’d still be friends, and I want that. But… I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“His kiss?” Meredith asked, her tone teasing.

Raelyn flushed. “I’ve never been kissed. And…I started to kiss him back. What if we’re awkward around each other now? What if he tries again?”

“I don’t think he will unless you give him a reason to.” Meredith stroked her hair. “That boy is terrified of losing you. He would much rather you stay as his friend than never speak to you again.”

That made her feel both better and worse. “I think…I think I’m going to go visit the goats.”

Thankfully, Alexander had vanished when Raelyn went outside, and she didn’t have to try to avoid him on her way to the pen. Lucas was feeding the goats when she arrived. He turned pale when he saw her and nearly dropped the bucket of grain. “I—I’ll just go.” He headed toward the fence.

“Lucas, wait.” Raelyn sighed and hugged herself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten angry. I shouldn’t have yelled at Alex, and I definitely shouldn’t have yelled at you. Friends?”

Lucas leaned against the fence, his relief evident. “Friends.” He swung the bucket gently. “So…are you…did you and Alex…?”

“We’re friends still. Just friends.” She hoped she wasn’t blushing as she remembered Alex’s arm around her waist when he pulled her in and kissed her. At least Lucas didn’t know about the kiss.

“Oh.” Lucas looked down. “All right.” One of the goats started butting against his leg, so he climbed over the fence and stood next to her. “I think you’re wrong aboutjustfriends, though.” He smiled. “I’ll have a ‘told you so’ waiting for when you finally figure it out.”

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