“Raelyn!” He grabbed her shoulders. “Please—”
“Don’t touch me!” She swatted his arms aside and backed away, wiping her sweaty palms on her dress. “Leave me alone.”
His throat bobbed. “Please. Let me explain.” The aching hurt in his tone almost made her hesitate. Almost.
She headed toward the cave.
“Wait! After I brought you back, Jasper thought I should try to keep you around, see if you could—” He made a strangled noise and grunted. “I said no.”
She faltered and looked back. Alexander’s eyes had stopped glowing, but his expression was strained. She turned around to let him speak.
“I hate the idea of expecting someone else to save me,” he said. “It wouldn’t be fair to you. I don’t even know if Icanbe freed. And if I can, there’s no guarantee that love is what will do it. In fact, I suspect it won’t. Meredith, Jasper, Peter, Lucas…they all love me. And yet…” He held his hands out, as if encompassing all his monstrous features, then let them fall back to his sides.
He looked forlorn, and she hated it. But she had too much experience with people treating her as a means to an end to so readily believe that he wasn’t using her, too.
“Jasper thinks romantic love might be different,” Alexander continued. “It’s always true love’s kiss in the legends. But this isn’t like the legends, where a witch tells the poor princess she can only be awoken by true love’s kiss. There was no remedy told to me.” He rubbed the side of his jaw, his expression defeated.
Maybe she had judged him too quickly and on too little information. Again. The thought pricked her conscience as his sorrowful countenance twisted her heart. She grasped for something to say. “That doesn’t mean there isn’t one.” It sounded foolish as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
“I suppose.” He ran his fingers through the side of his hair. “Truthfully, I’m unconvinced anything can free me, despite the hope the others have. I used to agree with them, assumed my condition could be remedied. Now I nod along so I don’t hurt them. I listen to Jasper tell me how to be a good king and recite back to him how the monarchy and Court of Lords operate. I let Meredith teach me etiquette and Peter train me in sword-fighting. Because I can’t take the disappointment on their faces when I refuse. But I… I don’t see a point in hoping. It’s not that I don’t want to be freed or to reclaim my throne. I hate that a murderer is ruling my people. But I’ve accepted what I am. I didn’t lie to you or keep you here because of Jasper’s theory. I told you everything about why I didn’t let you go. My reasons haven’t changed.”
Raelyn held her arm against her side.No wonder he was so comfortable with his dragon features and nature. He had to be, since he assumed there was no chance he would ever be without them. She suddenly wished shecouldbreak his curse.This isn’t fair. He doesn’t deserve this.
“But I have been flirting,” Alexander said quietly. Her stomach fluttered. “Ilikeyou. More every day.” His eyes twinkled. “You’re even cute when you’re frowning.”
“Hmph.” She scowled, mostly to hide the way his teasing further softened her defenses.
He sighed. “I wouldn’t try to make you love me. I don’t think I could. Love is a choice, Raelyn. When I hurt Meredith as a boy, I feared they would abandon me. But she looked me in the eye and said, ‘Love is a choice, Alexander.’ I can’t make you choose me. And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. If you were to love me, I’d want it to be your choice.”
She kicked at the grass, shame prodding her as the kindness in his tone melted away her anger. She’d hurt him over a misunderstanding, and she didn’t know how to apologize. But she didn’t know what to do with his admission, either.
“I’m going to be honest with you.” He sat back down and rested his forearms on his thighs, letting his hands dangle between his legs. His shoulders slumped forward, and his wings sagged.
“I flirted at first because it was novel. Because you were pretty—no, you’re beautiful. Because it was fun to watch you get flustered.” He mussed the hair between his horns. “But I started liking you, and I couldn’t stop myself. I know I have wings and a tail and claws that grow right back if I try to trim them.” She winced at that. “So I understand you may never want me. But whether you want me or not, whether you could—whether you kissed me and I became human, or you kissed me and I turned into a dragon forever, or nothing happened. You could choose to never so much as look at me again and”—he met her eyes—“I would still choose you, Raelyn. I would still love you.”
He…loves me?
“And I know you might chalk that up to I’ve never met another young woman, but it’s just…you.” He lowered his gaze, but he was smiling. “Your laugh, your smile, your teasing. The way you get along with the others. How you’re willing to help and get your hands dirty even though you were raised as a princess with servants. Your stories about getting into trouble with Gareth. How much you love flying. Even how much you love the stupid goats. How you changed your mind and managed to see me, not a monster. You’re special, Raelyn. Special on your own, and special to me.”
She swallowed against the thudding in her heart. He looked up, his perfect face wistful, his eyes glittering like rubies.Just admit you think he’s handsome,part of her prompted. Not to mention sweet and charming with a great sense of humor. Forgiving and honest. With a heart so big, no curse could ever make him a monster.
No!Another part of her shouted.He has a tail! He has claws and fangs! Does that sound comfortable?Do you want to kiss that?Alexander stood and strode toward her, and blood rushed to her face.Kind of.
He stopped right in front of her, and the affection in his eyes held both tender promise and passionate hope. Her breath hitched. She looked down at their feet. “Raelyn.” His silky voice washed over her like the first warm day of spring. His fingers caressed the side of her cheek, swept under her jaw, and tilted her chin up. Their eyes met, and he dropped his hand to his side. She felt a strange heat in her chest.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he murmured.
“Alex…”I can’t think. You’re too close for me to think.She closed her eyes, unable to speak while he regarded her so intently.
Alexander’s arm slipped around Raelyn’s waist and pulled her forward, and then his lips were on hers. She went rigid, but as his mouth moved gently against hers, she relaxed against him, letting him kiss her. Her hands drifted over his chest to his shoulders, and she was kissing him back—no.
She snapped her eyes open, pushing him away as she stumbled backward. “What was that?”
“A kiss?” He smirked. “If that was unclear, I can try it again—”
“Stop!” She ran her fingers over her braid. “I can’t…” She dragged her hand down the side of her burning face. “This is…”
“Oh. I see.” Hurt flashed over his face. “I’m sorry.”