Page 31 of Unholy

“You’re…”

“Don’t take heaven from me.” My voice cracks, a tear streaming down my face. I’ve waited so long for this. For Levi’s touch. For his taste. For our bodies to join together again. I can’t even entertain the notion that it will be taken from me, not when I’ve come this far and have gotten this close.

Levi looks at me for a long moment, and whatever he finds in my expression must be what he was looking for because he nods once. He then settles back on top of me, the rosary pressed between our bodies. When the cross broke in the fall, the fabric tying my wrist loosened. I test its hold, pulling once, twice, and I’m free. I moan, tangling the fingers of my right hand in Levi’s hair while grabbing his ass with my other hand.

“So close,” Levi says, thrusts short and deep. I am on the brink of coming, my cock finding the perfect amount of friction between our bodies.

“Yes. Just like that. Leviticus. Please.” I kiss Levi hard, all tongues and teeth and spit. He moans into my mouth, and I return that moan, bucking my hips to meet his.

“God. You’re gonna make me…” Levi’s words trail off, and my cock twitches, right on the edge.

“Please. Show me heaven,” I beg, and Levi moans, not bothering to cover the sound.

“You created Heaven,” Levi whispers into my ear. With one final, deep thrust I feel his cock pulse inside me. That's all it takes. Pleasure erupts from every cell of my body. I cling on to Levi, crying out as my come coats our bodies.

My limbs shake, my orgasm going on and on as I grip Levi’s shoulders, scratching down his back for purchase. Stars form in front of my eyes, my vision going dark from the pleasure that rocks my body over and over again like a boat out at sea during a storm, but Levi is my dove. He’s my hope for dry ground. He’s my salvation.

We lay there for so long, I lose track of time. Levi is no longer on top of me; we have shifted so that we are laying on our sides, using the fabric I was tied up with as a makeshift pillow. The hardwood floor is uncomfortable, and a splintered cross digging into our bodies, but I’m terrified of moving. Scared to death that one single movement could break Levi out of his resolve and crumble it. So, I take this moment for what it is.

I stare at Levi, tracing the intricate patterns of rainbow light on his face, down his neck and on to his chest. He looks at me in a way that makes me want to squirm. It’s as if he’s studying me, and I’m an open book. I haven’t felt this vulnerable in a long time. I try to think of something to say, but not a single word forms in my brain. I want to ask him if this is the last time, but I can’t bring myselfto even broach the subject. I don’t think I would survive the answer.

“So… umm… do you want to tell me where you’ve been?” Levi’s voice is hoarse, breaking the silence gently with a quiet snap.

I sigh, expecting this conversation, but not so soon. “Not really.” I busy my hands by taking the white cloth from beneath our heads and using it to wipe up the come drying on our bodies.

“I thought there was something different about you, but I guess not.” Levi moves to roll away, but I grab his bicep, stopping him. He rolls back to look at me, his expression weary.

“What’s different about me?” I search Levi’s eyes, trying to determine if he was just saying that.

“I don’t know. You just seem… softer, somehow. Like you’ve changed, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Now, though… with all of the secrets… you promised me you would tell me, and now you’re refusing to. I guess you haven’t really changed.” His eyes are downturned, staring at a piece of the broken cross below us as his fingers fiddle with it.

“I’ve never really kept a secret from you,” I tell him, hurt that Levi would even think that. I have done a lot of things to him, but I have never lied to him about anything.

“Then why won’t you tell me where you’ve been? You are gone for three months. I see you in my dreams, almost as if we’re communicating. Then I have a dream about you where we aren’t communicating, I’m just watching you talk to someone that I couldn’t see. Then you show up at 3 am in my church, on Easter Morning, nonetheless, beaten and bruised. None of it makes any sense.” Levi's voice gets stronger with each new point he makes, confusion lacing every word.

“I was-” I pause, trying to decide how to put it. “I was on a quest,” I say for lack of a better word.

“What? A quest? This isn’t some Tolkien novel. You're not a hobbit.”

“Yeah… I’m a demon.” I laugh, touching the side of Levi’s face with my thumb. His skin is just as soft and warm as it’s ever been, and I try to soak up as much of that warmth as I can through a single finger.

“Killian…” Levi warns, but the side of his lip twitches, clearly trying to hold back a smile.

“Fine. After last time… you know, in your bathroom… with the water….” I stutter, unsure of how to say it. I don’t want to upset him or remind him of that night. Now, I hold so much remorse over how everything happened, shamed by my actions.

“What an eloquent way to put it…” Levi smiles this time, and I release a breath I didn’t know he was holding. Maybe I don't have to walk on eggshells with this. Maybe I don't have to be afraid of reminding him of what I was… or still am… sort of.

“Shut up.” I return his smile. “Anyway, after everything that happened, you just looked so broken. You were so sad, and like… I can’t really describe it. I lacked a soul, so I really couldn’t feel emotions such as sadness or remorse, but I feltsomething.Maybe it was shame. I’m not sure, but you kept calling me a soulless demon. You kept talking about how much you hated yourself for allowing asoulless demonto touch you and the fact that you enjoyed my touch…”

“Okay…” Levi cuts off my thought midway through.

“I hated that you felt that way. I wanted to be worthy. I wanted to deserve the ability to touch you. And you were right. You were too pure, too perfect for someone so tainted to be allowed to touch. It was like touching a pristine white cloth with an ink-soaked quill. So, I wanted to change it.”

“Change it?” Levi’s brows draw in confusion, blue eyes searching.

“Yeah… I-I went on a quest to get my soul back,” I explain quietly. It feels so strange saying it out loud.

“Youwhat?” Levi’s eyes bulge out of their sockets in complete disbelief. I try not to laugh, but it’s quite funny. To be fair, I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t actually gone through everything. I shake myself, forcing my mind back into the present. I cannot allow myself to get lost in those trials again. I may not survive reliving them.

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