Page 17 of Unholy

“Oh, God,” Killian moans, chin pointed toward the ceiling. He doesn't move to stop me. Doesn’t take my hand in his own. He just lays there, allowing me to do as I please. The power.

“Defend us in battle.” I make a straight, vertical line with the wax on Killian’s right pec. “Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.”

“Can I touch myself?” Killian asks, hips thrusting up. I don't answer, just continue with the first prayer.

“May God rebuke him, we humbly pray.” I make a small, horizontal line across the vertical one with the wax, as I finish my first prayer. “And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.”

“Please, Father. Need. Please. Need to touch.” Killian’s voice breaks with his pleas. The pool of pleasure in my stomach deepens, pulling at my navel. I try to force myself to breathe steadily. Force myself to focus.

“Amen,” I finish, and if my voice breaks on the word, Killian doesn't notice.

“Father. Please.”

“No,” I answer, the simple word firm and unrelenting. Killian whimpers, actually whimpers.

“Yes, Father,” Killian finally responds, hands fisted at his sides. I smile, pride filling my chest. I’m not sure where the sensation came from or even why I’m proud. Maybe it’s the fact that this larger-than-life demon isn’t touching himself all because I told him he wasn’t allowed. The way he isobeyingme.

“Spirit of our God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Most Holy Trinity, Immaculate Virgin Mary, angels, archangels, and saints of heaven, descend upon me,” I start the second prayer, hoping that Killian doesn’t catch on. I hold the candle above Killian’s chest, dripping wax in a steady stream to create another straight line from his belly button to the middle of his chest.

“Fuck,” Killian hisses, back bowing off the ground to get closer to the candle. My whole body responds, fingers itching to touch him.

“Please purify me, Lord, mold me, fill me with yourself, use me.” My voice wavers as I say the words because, I realize too late, that I’m not saying them to God, but to Killian. I want Killian to fill me and use me. Not God. I shake my head.

Continue. You can do this. Finish this, and you will earn His forgiveness.

“Jesus’ tits. Please. I need…” Killian’s words trail off, a layer of sweat now coating his entire body. His cock is pink and purple, looking more painful by the second. My own cock isn’t faring much better, but I’m attempting to ignore it.

“Banish all the forces of evil from me, destroy them, vanquish them, so that I can be healthy and do good deeds.” I force myself to believe what I am saying. I want this.I want this. I want this. I want this.

“I-shit. Father… I-” Killian’s mouth is open, stuck on the vowel, and I have never wanted to put my cock in something so badly. I ache for the feeling of Killian’s mouth again. I shake myself. No. I cannot allow myself to be caught up again.

With shaking hands, I drip a half circle at the top of the line I just drew with the wax. “Banish from me all spells, witchcraft, black magic, evil spells, ties, curses and the evil eye; diabolic infestations, oppressions, possessions; all that is evil and sinful, jealousy, deceitfulness, envy; physical, psychological, moral, spiritual and diabolical ailments.” This should work. It has to. It will break whatever spell this demon has put on me. It will banish the demon for good.

“Yes. Please. Yes,” Killian chants, seemingly unfazed by the prayer. What? No. This has to work. Maybe I just need to finish. Yes. That’s it. I need to finish, and then it will work.

“Burn all these evils in hell, that they may never again touch me or any other creature in the entire world.”

You don’t mean that. You want this creature to touch you. Even right now, you want his cock in your mouth. You want his hands on you. You want the power he gives you.

I tell the voice in my head to shut up. That it’s lying. I want none of that.

“Keep going, Father. Please. Keep going.” Killian thrust into the air, his whole body tense. I watchwith wide eyes for a split second, before shaking my head, bringing myself back to the task at hand.

“I command and bid all the powers who molest me—by the power of God all powerful, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior, through the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary–to leave me forever,” I say, dripping a diagonal line across the first line on Killian’s chest. The skin beneath the wax is an angry red, raised from irritation. I want to trace it. Want to kiss the skin to make it feel better. I lick my lips, almost dipping my head.

“Fuck. I’m so close, Father. Please. Can I? Please.” Killian’s voice is frantic, fist clenched at his sides. The realization hits me like a freight train. He’s asking again. He’s asking my permission to come.

“And to be consigned into the everlasting hell, where they will be bound by Saint Michael the Archangel.”

“Oh God.” Each name I say is punctuated by Killian’s moans.

“Saint Gabriel, Saint Raphael, our guardian angels, and where they will be crushedunder the heel of the Immaculate Virgin Mary.” I drip wax into another diagonal line, making an X over the P on Killian’s chest, finalizing the prayer.

“Fuck. Please. I’m gonna...” Killian’s hips thrust into the air again, a shiny bit of precome glittering at the tip. I hiss out a breath.

“Don’t you dare,” I growl, and I have no idea where that came from. Maybe it’s anger that the spell didn’t work. The demon is still in front of me. He didn’t disappear into thin air. I don't feel God's presence, His love. All I feel is a deep-seated arousal for the demon. I’m surrounded by Killian, not God. All I see is Killian. All I hear are his moans, his pleas to come. I can grant those pleas. I can answer Killian’s prayers. I could be Killian’s god.

Then the realization that Killian is the reason God abandoned me slaps me in the face. My eyes sting with unshed tears. I can’t believe I’m allowing myself to be wrapped up in this… abomination again. God isn’t here because Killian is. That’s been the case all along. I can’t feel God’s presence because I am in Killian’s. Why didn’t I realize it? As long as this demon preoccupies my body, mind, and life, I will never feel God’s presence.

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