Page 29 of Judas

"There's no way. Judas… c'mon. Stop being ridiculous! You're trying to tell me that you'retheJudas? The traitor?" Her laughter bounced off the walls of the apartment. When she finally got control of her lawless amusement, she found Judas not joining in the obvious joke, but sitting stoically, the tears streaming from his bitter eyes. The guilt of her childish delight poured over her like a cold shower. She half expected him to throw her out of the apartment but when he opened his mouth, the most beautiful song fell from his lips.

Abun D'bashmayo, Neth Q'adash Smokh

Tithe Mal kuthokh, Nehwe Sebyonkh

Aykano D'bashmayo, Oph Bar'o

Hab-lan lahmon D'sunqonan Yowmano

Wa-sbuq lan, Hawbayn, wa-htohayn

Aykano dof hnan, Sbaqan l-hayobayn

Lo ta 'alan l-neyuno, Ela faso lan Men biso

Metul d'dilokh hi Malkutho

W'haylo, W'thes 'buhto

L'olam 'olmin

Tears fell in streams from Eliza's flushed cheeks as she sucked in a shuttered breath. She felt the beauty, the longing, and the pain in Judas' hauntingly crystal voice. It was as if her soul was splitting from her body as his lilt sliced a chilly knife through her. Her bones rattled. She wanted to believe him and she was sure he needed her to, but her brain still overrode her heart and logic screamed of the impossibility.

"That was beautiful," choking, she clumsily swiped at the falling rivers, “What was it?”

Judas opened his eyes, "The Lord’s Prayer…in the language of my people.”

He paused.

“I am no traitor." He touched her face tenderly, "Ahava…I didn't mean for you to cry."

"I want to believe you… but, how? And…what are you?" Eliza asked with caution. Ridiculous ideas of vampires and Hollywood monsters flooded her mind. She still wasn't sure if he was serious or just mad.

His voice, chipped with derision, chortled, "This is a gift… given to me by my best friend, Yeshuda." Looking skyward he yelled, "Something I have asked for him to take back!"

Judas looked down into Eliza's questioning eyes, "Judas, he said, 'Judas…I need a favor. If you do this for me, I will grant you something that all of the others would be jealous of… because you, Judas, are truly receiving of the message of my Father. You and Mary, my only family.' I told him he didn't need to repay me for a favor… I would give it willingly. Anything he needed, I would provide!" Judas became angrier with every word. "I'm sure you can guess what favor he asked of me. To turn him in! Give him to the priests… allow him to be humiliated and murdered. He said 'It's the only way, Judas!' You have no idea what it's like to watch someone you love be tortured in front of you."

His words ripped Eliza's heart. She empathized with the feeling because she was watching it firsthand. She saw agony fill him as he spoke and her heart swelled with painful sorrow, "You were…there?"

He nodded, the ravenous tears threatening to burst from his eyes, "I was."

"But…I thought," her voiced trailed into silence.

"I killed myself?" his eyes rose to meet hers as the rivers ran into his beard. "I found that man hanging…I don't know why he was there or if he did that to himself and it didn't matter. The rumor of my betrayal was already circling but I couldn't allow Yesh to be alone. I needed to stand by his side. I took the man's clothes and replaced them with my own. By the time he was found by others, no one recognized him anyway."

Reaching out, Eliza took Judas' hand.

"I watched them tear my brother apart," a sob caught in his throat. "That Scourge on the wall? It was his. I stole it so no one else would be given the same fate." He huffed a small chuckle through his falling tears, "Symbolically, of course. The Romans had multitudes at their disposal. I wanted to save him, Eliza. But he said it was the only way. So, I stood in the crowd…cloaked and hidden. I watched as they nailed his wrists to that wood…my soul tore from me as they lifted him into the sky and I wailed like a child when he whispered his last words! My friend died and I helped him do it."

She moved to sit next to him. She still wasn't sure if she wholly believed him, but recognized that his grief was real. Judas had been through something traumatic. Reaching out, she gently touched the small scars on his back. When his eyes met hers, her question was asked without words.

"No," he wiped his face. "I got those while serving on a British navel ship. They were starving a prisoner… I thought it was cruel, so I gave him some of my bread."

Eliza didn't react but her insides were spinning. He spoke of this other life so calmly, so convincingly that a part of her was starting to believe the outlandish. His skin was warm under her hand and she had felt his breath on hers just hours before. He was real, that was unequivocal, but she had to know.

"What was his gift for you?" she whispered. "Yesh, that is."

Lifting his chin, he looked down at her with unfocused anger, "Eternal life. Immortality. I never age. I can never die."

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