Page 23 of Judas

“Now is really not a good time,” Eliza said, her voice betraying her desperate need for her father to leave as soon as absolutely possible.

Judas could read Paul’s expression and knew that wouldn’t be happening. He turned to Eliza and smiled apologetically, “Thank you for letting me clean up, Miss Eliza. I will see myself out so that you and Mr. Arthur can speak privately.”

The look on her face was devastating. Judas wanted nothing more than to fix it, but he knew, now more than ever before, that he would not be able to do that. Maybe ever. He kissed Eliza’s hand goodbye and walked toward the door. She followed and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ as Judas left.

Walking down the stairs to his car, Judas felt a cold dread slide over his entire being. What had he been thinking? He wanted Eliza on a pure and true level, but having her was nothing but selfishness. His presence in her life beyond anything more than her father’s security did nothing but complicate her life. He should have known better and he reprimanded himself all the way to his car.

As he slid into the driver’s seat, he looked up to her window and vowed to distance himself from the crushing need he felt for her. He owed her more than giving in to his own self-serving wants and desires. She would be upset, he was sure, but he didn’t want to make her life harder than it was. With all the stress her father put on her, she deserved to have all other stress removed.

He knew she feared the same things. She tried to tell him that tonight and he just hadn’t fully heard what she had been trying to tell him. He should’ve given more weight to her words. She deserved peace.

If that meant removing himself, Judas was willing to make that sacrifice for her. No matter how badly it would hurt him to do so.

Chapter thirteen

It has been one week since Paul interrupted Judas and Eliza. One week since they had touched. One week since Eliza received a voicemail from Judas telling her that she had been right and it wasn’t a good idea for them to see each other. One whole entire week since Eliza had felt her heart break for a relationship she hadn’t really even had yet.

And it was torturing them both without the other even knowing.

Eliza understood why he felt the need to end things. The way her father had spoken to him. The way he had treated Judas like an unwanted intruder in her space. It caused her heart to ache when she thought about how she's allowed it to happen. She cringed every time the entire scene replayed in her head. He deserved so much better than she knew how to offer him. She knew Judas was right, but she hated having that knowledge.

The sudden end to their encounters felt like being drenched in ice cold water. It was so abrupt and jarring to have the crazed, greedy moments they had shared ripped away without warning.She felt like an addict going through withdrawals and every encounter was a temptation she didn’t know how to endure. Walking into the conference room now, Eliza passed by Judas and wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence.

But, she knew he was there.

His scent filled her senses and caused her stomach to flutter to life with butterflies that seemed to remember exactly what his touch felt like. She wanted to turn to him and shove him against the wall, their lips tangled in a passionate embrace, but she didn't. She carefully held her poker face in place and strode past him, seemingly without a care in the world.

Judas could barely stand to see her go by him. He wanted to reach out for her. He wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go. Seeing her so out of reach was torture of the soul and he had to fight every internal urge within him to not take her right there on the conference table in front of every single person in this crowded room. She felt like a compulsion he didn’t know how to fight. He took a deep breath releasing it harshly in a bid to relax his inner turmoil. He knew maintaining this distance was what was right and he would never betray her trust by violating the boundary put in place to protect her.

She hadn’t protested this separation and she knew she shouldn’t. It would be selfish to put him through what her father would hurl at him if they were together, but hearing his sigh from behind her is almost enough to make her call the whole thing off. She was truly walking so close to falling already and hearing him exhale in frustration nearly sent her careening over the edge of temptation. She took a seat and gripped its edges in an attempt to ground herself to something tangible before she floated away willingly into his gravitational pull.

Her Uncle Chet had been meeting with her father about law firm business before their campaign meeting and he eyed hersuspiciously as he stood to leave. She wondered if she was being that obvious. Apparently, she was.

Chet walked to her side and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Are you okay, Eliza?”

She pulled away and smiled up at him, “Oh, yeah. I’m good, Uncle Chet. Just distracted. Thinking about campaign stuff.” Her attempt to sound chipper about a job he knew she hated didn't fool him.

Chet looked from Eliza to the other stressed face in the room and very quickly put the pieces together.

“Huh,” he said as matter of fact, “Well, I really thought that was going to work out. Dad complicate things?”

Eliza's painted-on smile faltered and she exhaled the sigh she had been holding inside her. She nodded.

Chet gave her a pat on the back, "That old man has no right to tell you how to live your life, okay? You outgrew him a long time ago. Do what makes you happy."

He winked at her and she wanted to disappear. How was it possible that they weren’t even currently speaking and yet their chemistry was thick enough for the entire room to read? It made the ache in her chest grow in intensity.

Intensity.

Eliza lifted her eyes and stared across the room to Judas. Like he could feel her stare, his gaze met hers and a world of emotion passed between them. She was tempted, in the moment to rush directly into his arms. Witnesses be damned.

Before she could, Georgia plopped down in the seat next to her, “Intense stare there, lady friend.”

Eliza broke eye contact with Judas and glared toward the floor, “Please don’t use that word or I may scream. Nothing intense is happening here.”

Georgia rolled her eyes, “Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that.”

Eliza looked at Georgia seeing the empathy in her eyes, “Is it really that obvious?”

---