Page 17 of Dirty Daddy

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “She once told me her family turned their backs on her because she wanted more from her life than to be stuck in the small town she grew up in. She was supposed to end up with some boy she has known all her whole life, because that’s what her mother wanted. Her finishing school is her way of showing her family that she is better than their expectations of her.”

Kaiden’s face contorts and I wait for him to work through his own thoughts. He needs to come to this conclusion by himself without my help. He needs to want this because I fuckingneedher and if both my boys can’t face their own demons and realizethe same thing, I’ll have no choice but to give her up. I will sacrifice my happiness if it means my sons are happy.

I’d let Tess go for them and live my life as half a man, because without her I’m not whole.

FIFTEEN

TESS

“Tess, are you sure we can’t convince you to come with us next week?” Peyton presses. I sigh and recline back in my chair, her and the guys have been trying to get me to change my mind about joining them for Christmas break, but the thought of facing Clayton, Kaiden and Tyler again makes me feel nauseous. I haven’t heard from them since the day I left and honestly, I don’t blame them. I gave them no explanation or a reason as to why I left. I thought they would have read my email by now and understood, but I guess I was wrong.

I shake my head. “Peyton, I can’t,” I whisper. Her eyes soften. Hudson slings his arm around her shoulders and draws her into his side. Jealousy surges inside me at the sight but I quickly tamp that bitch down. Van and Kye both smirk at them. I love how they all get along and none of them fight over her spending more time with one instead of the other. They have found a balance that works for them and I am truly happy for them but also, a part of me envies my best friend because I could have had that as well.

“The offer will stand regardless. You will always be welcome at our home in the mountains, Tess.” I smile my thanks to Van, and stare down at my plate. I’ve been spending a lot of timehere lately, being in my dorm room alone gives me too much time to think. I hate that I can’t shut down and close my mind off from thinking about them. I hate how my body heats when I think about the nights I spent tangled up in them, or blindfolded with my arms bound behind my back at their mercy. I clench my thighs to try and dull the ache that is building. Just the mere thought of them sliding inside me or how their hands felt as they trailed down my naked flesh sends a shiver through me.

“You may not want to know my opinion but you’re about to get it regardless,” Hudson says, drawing my gaze to him. He leans forward and rests his arms on the table, a serious look overtaking his features and I find myself tensing in anticipation. “Love sucks.” I gasp, the guys groan, while Peyton just smiles and shakes her head. I stare at my best friend, waiting for her to tell Hudson off or something but she just remains silent. “People will judge you for your choices but you know what the real test is?”

My brows slam together as I mull over his words. “No, what is the real test?”

He smiles smugly. “Proving people wrong. Love sucks because it takes control of you and forces you to obey without question. You can’t fight against the pull no matter how hard you try. Just ask Pey. Her mother hates us being together and has pretty much cut her off, but none of that matters because we love each other. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says or thinks about how we choose to live our lives. I don’t fuck Lenior every night, I fuck her daughter, so her judgment means nothing to me and what others think shouldn’t matter to you either.”

I expel a loud exhale. “It’s not about what people think or what they have to say,” I admit.

“What is it then?” Kye presses. I roll my lips between my teeth trying to think of a way to explain, but Van takes the words right out of my mouth.

“My brothers won’t leave the mountain. My dad won’t leave them behind to chase Tess.” His words have pain blooming in my chest. “She wants to finish school and I can bet my life on the fact that Kaiden kicked off when she mentioned something about leaving, then of course, Tyler got all up in his feelings and followed Kaiden’s lead. Dad would have tried to change their minds but failed. So instead of coming after Tess himself, he chose to stay with my brothers because he won’t let his happiness trump theirs.” A stray tear slides down my cheek.

“Ineedto finish school. I have to do this, for me,” I say as I run my gaze over each of them, then focus on Van as I finish. “I would love to live on that mountain with your father and brothers. The amount of inspiration I got just from being there was overwhelming. I would embrace their lifestyle and adapt if it meant I gotthem,but I can’t do that without finishing what I set out to do. I…” I inhale and square my shoulders. “Your dad was right, it may have only been a couple of weeks but I love them, Van, and I wish I could go back there but I can’t. I need to do this… for me.” Heartache laces my words and I don’t try to hide it. I’m done lying to myself and everyone else. I love Clayton, Kaiden and Tyler, and I miss them so fucking much that my chest aches.

“Well, I say tonight we need to get drunk until no one can see straight.” Van’s declaration is met with a chorus of hell yes from the guys. Peyton just sighs and nods. Hearing a priest say we should all get drunk is not something I ever thought I would hear.

“How can I say no to my priest?” she says to me.

I snort. “He stopped being a priest the moment he defiled our church when he fucked you in the confessional,” I quip. The guys all burst out laughing, while Pey bites down on her lip and shoots me a sheepish look with a shrug.

“He’s really hard to say no to, just look at him,” she implores.

“She’s been looking at my dad and brothers, bunny, she gets the raw sexuality of us Pierce men.” Kye and Hudson both snicker and poke fun at Van, causing me and Peyton to laugh.

Drowning my sorrows in alcohol doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.

I groan, my head is spinning and I feel sick. I have instant regret for agreeing to drink with the guys. I thought I could keep up and out drink them, but I think I may have underestimated their stamina. Peyton warned me not to give into Van when he kept teasing me and trying to get me to a play a drinking game, but I’m a sore loser and there was no fucking way I was going to let that asshole priest best me.

I’m an idiot.

A groan tumbles free when I roll over, trying to go back to sleep so I can sleep off this horrible feeling. When I hear the distinct sound of wood crackling, I tense. Peyton doesn't have a fireplace! I inhale, only to stiffen when the smell of a fire reaches my senses. I tentatively reach my arm out, hoping to feel it falling off the edge of the sofa I was sleeping on in their living room. My hand doesn't tumble off the edge, I just feel the empty space of a mattress.

I’m not at Peyton’s.

The thought slams into me with such a force it knocks the queasy feeling straight out of me. I should open my eyes and confirm my suspicions, but I’m too much of a chicken shit. I could still be dreaming! I clear my thoughts and inhale again, only to be met with the same smell and the vacant space besideme. I give myself another minute to wallow in my self-pity before I allow the truth to sink in. Van and the guys set me up. I would bet money on the fact Van only baited me to get as drunk as I did so I would pass out and be none the wiser of him kidnapping me. The bastard had the hide to wear the collar of a priest and pledge vows to our good lord only to turn out to be a treacherous liar who backstabs his friends!

I’m back in the cabin.

SIXTEEN

KAIDEN

Laying here in my room, staring up at my ceiling has become my favorite thing to do since she left. Every inch of this place reminds me of her except this room—we never fucked in here. Her scent doesn’t cling to the curtains or the walls, it’s the only place I can hide from the memories of her. I hear the ghost of her voice and laughter each time I brave leaving this room. Tess burrowed herself inside me and I hate it. I’ve never gotten attached before. I’ve fucked plenty of women in town and had no problems never knowing their names, or slipping out before the sun rose the next morning. I liked it that way.