Page 98 of The Time Of Queens

“Because I might have forgotten something,” Pip admitted sheepishly.

“What?” Sophia asked, beating me to it.

“Airholes.” Pip admitted, making us look closer to see that yep…she was dead.

“Fuck! Damn it, I really wanted to kill this bitch myself!” I complained, throwing down the plunger before staring down at her white face.

“Really, Pip, you had one job,” Sophia exclaimed.

“Hey, you said shut the lid, you didn’t say, ‘and don’t forget to poke it first with some airholes’… she’s not a hamster!” Pip argued, using quotation marks in this argument.

“No, and what happened to your last one, Pip? What happened to Mr Peanut?” she asked with her hands on her hips, making Pip gasp.

“Don’t you dare bring Mr Peanut into this, he had a good life,” she disputed as I continued to stare down at the corpse.

“Yeah, until you forgot his cage was open, realised he wasn’t there, and then found him a week later stuck in the barbie sex castle you made.” At this I burst out laughing, something that stopped when Pip shot me a furious glare. Then she turned back to Sophia, put her fingers in her ears and said,

“Lalalaala, I won’t listen to this blasphemy on my character as a pet owner… besides, how did I know he would get stuck inthe fleshlight tower…it was one of the alien pussies,”she told me behind her hand, like this was a point I needed to know.

“Jesus… this is way too much information to process while we try and dispose of a dead body,” I muttered.

“Jesus is dead, let him go… and as for you, you get the ass end for killing her,” Sophia said, first to me and then to Pip.

“Fine, at least she won’t fart now she’s dead,” she commented in return.

“Erm, Pip…” I had been about to tell her that dead bodies often still expel gasses, but one look at Sophia shaking her head at me, and I said,

“Never mind, let’s go.”

In the end, there was no arse grabbing needed, as we decided the best way to get rid of her was to take her outside in the trunk. Something that helped when Pip suggested the luggage cart. Hence why, ten long minutes later, we had wheeled said trolly over to the car and lifted it in the trunk. Of course, our limo driver had offered to help, to which we had all replied as one, with a stern,

“No!”

This was before realising how weird this looked, something we were reminded of when the poor guy backed away with his hands held up.

Which brought us back to now, as we left to retrieve said trunk from the car, now that it was dark outside. Which also meant that, hopefully, the sight of three women in dresses wouldn’t be seen as we dragged this big old trunk across the gardens of Witley Court and off towards the wooded area.

“It really was a beautiful ceremony,” Sophia said as we all pulled as one.

“It was, wasn’t it?” I said in a dreamy voice, despite what we were doing now.

“She’s all grown up,” Pip added, making us all sigh.

“Well enough of the mushy stuff, we’ve got a dead body to bury,” Sophia added, whipping away her teary eyes.

“You know, I think this is literally like the last thing on our list of stuff we haven’t done together,” Pip said, making me say,

“Jesus, you have this on the list… let it go, Sophia, Jesus can live on in all of us,” I exclaimed before she could make another Jesus comment.

“Not in me, I’m a Demon, remember? Pretty sure I would make him cry,” she replied, making me chuckle.

“Not me, I would ask him to sign my Jesus is coming, quick, look busy, T-shirt,” Pip offered, making me groan.

“I dread to think of how many religions we just insulted,” I replied, making her say,

“What, you think I should get him to sign my Poo one?” she questioned instead.

“I am going to regret this, I know I am, but what poo one?” I asked.

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