Page 46 of The Time Of Queens

“Yes, I wish…” No, I would not use that word.

“I wanted to say goodbye,” I stated instead.

“Goodbye? My Lord, are you going somewhere?”

Another blow, and one I didn’t defend against despite my reply coming out like an attack.

“No,but you are,”I affirmed, forcing my voice to come out hard and unyielding. Her face showed equal amounts of confusion and hurt.

“I… I don’t understand,” she stammered, and I forced myself to straighten further, despite the urge to sink to the floor after lowering my head at her feet. Instead, I gave her reason to hate me, for surely that emotion was easier than watching as I fell in love with another.

“It has come to my attention that… inappropriate feelings have developed for me on your part.” I forced the words pastmy lips, hating the way they sounded. As if accusing her of some great sin, when the offense was all my doing.

“What?”she hissed, but I continued on as if unheard.

“Now as master of this estate, I must dismiss you from this house, for I will soon be welcoming my fiancé and fear that your behaviour towards me would put her at a discomfort.” At this she started shaking her head, tears forming in her stormy eyes making them look like winter ice. I had never seen them look more hauntingly beautiful than they did in that moment, and it pained me to witness the reason why.

“I… I… don’t know what to say,” she said, her voice shaky and ungrounded. So, I strengthened my resolve and told her,

“There is nothing to say on this, for I only fear that my kindness towards you was taken out of context. And for that I apologise…”

“Don’t! Please…please don’t say another word…”she shouted before her voice broke. Her emotion was like holding a mirror to my own heart. To the point where I was close to damning my Electus for even existing, despite knowing what it meant to finally have her in my life. I couldn’t even question who she was to me, for that kiss had hit me like a hammer swung by a Berserker. My bodyguard and head of my guard, Ragnar, now waited by a barn to ensure my Electus didn’t slip through my fingers a second time.

And where was I?

Breaking the hearts of the both of us combined.

“Naturally, you will be compensated for the rest of your intended employment, for Miss Fitzwilliam will not be needing your service to her any longer.”

She actually staggered back a step as if I had struck her.

“You’re really asking me to leave?” she asked, completely shocked. I gritted my teeth and folded my arms across my chest just so as to stop my hands from reaching out to her.

“I am. For I fear I must insist upon it,” I told her, keeping my tone steady and sure. She licked her bottom lip as if the shock had made her mouth dry.

“Right… right…”she said, as if trying to come to terms with it. And because I couldn’t stand it any longer, I turned and grabbed my riding jacket, putting it on and signalling the end to the most painful exchange I had ever experienced to date.

“Now I must go, for I have important business to attend. I would, however, ask for you to be ready to leave by the morning when I will have time to settle our affaires…” She flinched at that, as if I had wounded her further.

“I will leave at once,” she stated firmly, making me tense my fists at my sides for how empty and strained her voice sounded. However, her face told a very different story and gave a painful insight to how much she was hurting. How muchI had hurt her.

“No, that won’t be necessary. For it is late and there is no sense of your leaving until morning. Besides, like I said, I must be gone now, so I will not have time to settle the matter of your wages and…”

“I want nothing,”she gritted out, interrupting me and, again, in that dead tone that grated against my nerves like Lucifer’s claws were playing with my mortal body like an instrument.

“I will not hear of it,” I told her, and suddenly her emotion came crashing out in the form of anger.

“I want nothing from you!” she shouted, her small hands held into fists by her side. The sight of one of them bandaged was a reminder of all she had been through in this house. And I… well, I had been the cause of it all at its core. I never should have encouraged her feelings for me to grow, not when I had never been free to do so.

“That may be so, but it has been decided,” I told her, my tone firm enough that it should have been all that was needed on the matter. Yet that was not the case, for this girl was different, andby the Gods how I wished I had been free to explore all there was to know of her.

“No one decides my fate. Goodbye, my Lord, I wish you all the happiness this world has to offer you,” she said, her words like ice, despite the warmth their meaning was supposed to impose. And all this said before she quickly turned on a heel and rushed from the room.

Her words were the final blow as I took a step back. Her chosen form of goodbye was like a wound against my skin, for her words had cut to the bone. Which was why before I could stop myself, I ran from the room calling her name.

“Keira!”

But then she ran to her room, her sobs of pain arrows to an already broken heart. My hand gripped the banister as I forced myself to stop from chasing her. From inflicting even more damage. For what could I say to her? What was left for us?

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