Page 134 of The Devil We Know

Rips my guts out

Because who am I without you?

All these complicated emotions

Fire and ice in my veins

When at the end of the day

Everything I have to say

Comes down to

The simplest of sentiments

I miss you

Come back

He stops abruptly, his head turning, eyes shut. I don’t hesitate or wait for him to cue me. I pick up my mic and go with it.

Permission, it’s amusing, really

This mere idea of control, lunacy

I pause for a moment, allowing Declan’s band to kick in some rhythm. Then I close my eyes, picturing Declan in his studio, kicking and fighting to find the words to truly convey his own brokenness.

You’re here, then you’re not

A heart so unstable that I think we forgot

Forever is a dream, a myth

A romantic’s notion of misfits

And heaven forbid, you find yourself

Not suited to the tenacity it takes

To get through it

On days when the pain’s too great

And you have to stop fighting

Stop pretending, stop faking

The it’s okay, I’m fine bullshit

Where you’re forced to dig deep

To let go, to embrace that searing agony

Your fear will drive you over a cliff

Into oblivion, so you say enough’s enough

And you give yourself permission

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