Page 93 of The Devil We Know

Now, I frown and snort. “Try again. There’s no fucking way he said that.”

She giggles and then replies, “You’re right. He never fucking said that.”

I laugh again, grateful for the reprieve. “Go ahead. Tell me what he said.”

She pauses for a moment, rolling her eyes a little, and then she whispers, “He said if you ever fuck another man, he’ll haunt you.”

I laugh, and Lilith laughs behind me, her arms tightening on me, and then Carolina laughs as well, and I hear Tony and Matt and their low chuckles on the other side of the van. We all laugh for one single moment in time.

And then we stop.

I’m enveloped by the echoing silence, the subtle ringing in my ears, and the crack of my heart in my chest.

I take a shuddering breath in, releasing it as I mutter, “Fuck.”

And then I let it all go.

And I cry.

39

A Jagged Landscape

Matt

By the time wemake it back to the city, Antoinette’s sobs have quieted to whimpers, the equivalent of a wounded animal.

Jessica crawled into my lap, curling into me like a child, and I did my best to console her while also keeping my own emotions in line.

But all it took was a glance from Tony for me to recognize the futility of it all.

On the other side of that, I keep reminding myself of our old motto about no one being dead until you yourself have removed their head and set their body on fire.

Of course, in this situation, I hate to give myself any hope at all.

Upon arrival at the warehouse, we stagger from the van, slowly making our way inside.

We’re all slow to enter, none of us wanting to leave Antoinette behind, and all of us completely unsure what to do.

It isn’t until we’re in our main communication room that she finally stops, turns to us, and says, “You all should get some rest. We’ll make some plans first thing in the morning.”

Tony and I look at each other and then back at Antoinette, and then Tony shakes his head, stepping forward as he says, “We’re not going to leave you.”

She laughs bitterly and raises her brows at him as she replies, “And staying with me is going to accomplish what?”

Tony shrugs, his eyes moving to mine as he motions to her, obviously looking for my assistance. So, I step forward, resting my hand on her arm as I say, “The same thing we’ve always done for each other, just be there.”

Her features soften, and she smiles slightly, and then steps in closer to me, motioning for Tony to come near. Then she leans in, her eyes moving from mine to Tony’s and back again as she says, “The best thing you can do right now is to take care of your wives.” She pauses, taking in a shaky breath and turning to Tony, adding, “Especially you. It’s not her fault. We know Darius, and he never would have allowed her to risk her own life to save him. If he had thought there’d be even a tiny chance she would have succeeded, he would be standing here with us. She needs to hear that.”

Tony nods, and she turns to me. I nod in acknowledgement, and then we both step back and move to walk away. Then, I turn back and ask, “What are you going to do?”

She looks across the room where Lilith is speaking with Agatha, and then she turns back to me. Her smile is a little brighter as she says, “I’m going to find him.”

I frown, and Tony stops, a matching frown on his face as he asks, “What are you talking about?”

She looks over at him and then shrugs as she replies, “You of all people aren’t allowed to lecture me on reality—not yet.”

He looks at me and shrugs, too, so I sigh. “Reality’s got fuck all on us. Come get us if you need us.”

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