Page 32 of The Devil We Know

“Maniacal laughter?” I ask.

She giggles and nods some more. “Yeah, Carolina was right. That playing daft worked like a charm, but it only works so far before you have to dial it in and actually act like you have one fucking brain cell in your head. It’s a fine line.”

I smile, wanting nothing more than to whisk her out of here, being entirely frustrated that I can’t.

We laugh together quietly for a few moments, and eventually, silence settles around us. She rises from where she was seated on the bed and walks over to me, stopping a few inches from me. She reaches up and strokes her fingertips along my cheek as she whispers, “You should go.”

I close my eyes, wanting to sink into her touch for as long as I possibly can, but knowing that our moment is over just as quickly as it had begun.

I swallow the lump in my throat, incapable of finding any words, even with everything that I want to say in the moment, and then her touch is gone. I open my eyes, and she says a little louder, “Get the fuck out of here before you get us both killed.”

I sigh heavily, moving to walk away, but then I pause, turning back to look at her. “If I get an opportunity to fix this, just remember that I’m going to have to say and do some things you’re not going to like.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to have to get used to a lot of things I’m not going to like, regardless of who they’re coming from.”

“Yes,” I reply seriously. “But these things will be more difficult for you to swallow, coming from me. It will seem completely out of character from the Matt that you know, and I won’t be able to sway, no matter what you say or do in response to my words and actions. I will have to stay the course. And if you fight me, I will have to hurt you.”

She frowns and steps back from me, almost unconsciously as she asks, “Hurt me how?”

“That I don’t know. But I need you to remember that when it comes down to it, I will literally do anything to save you.”

She shivers visibly, and I know that she understands exactly what I’m saying.

And I mean every word of it.

The hierarchy of the criminal underworld is quite literally kill or be killed. And in most cases, if you attempt to usurp the current order, bloodshed is imminent, and the kill or be killed mentally becomes imperative.

I stare at her intently, unblinking. “Do you understand what I’m saying, Jessica?”

She takes a deep breath, slowly exhales it, and then nods as she replies, “I understand. Don’t worry.”

I turn to leave the room, but her voice draws my attention back to her when she says, “Matt.”

I meet her eyes again, noting the yearning there, the desperation, and I take a step back toward her, extending my hand, which she takes. I stand there for a moment, stroking my thumb along the back of her hand. We watch each other silently, communicating wordlessly what we’re feeling.

I wait another moment and then slowly release her hand as I say, “I got you.”

And then I spin on my heel and walk away.

13

The Messenger, of Sorts

Matt

I manage to makeit back to my room without being seen.

I burst into the room, immediately startled by Kaian sitting in the goddamn chair in the corner, obviously waiting for me.

“And where have you been, Matt?” he asks sarcastically.

I ignore him and immediately start removing my clothes as I make my way into the bathroom. I’m completely bare-assed by the time I get to the shower, and I flip the taps on, not waiting for the water to warm before I step under the spray.

Of course, ignoring him doesn’t deter Kaian one bit, and I hear him from the doorway say, “You know ignoring me won’t work, Shields. Fucking spill already.”

“There’s nothing to say, Kai,” I reply impatiently. “I went to the gym and now I’m back.”

I’m met by a long moment of silence until, finally, curiosity has me peeking out to see that he’s no longer in the doorway. I take my moment of reprieve, even knowing he won’t have actually left the room. He won’t be that easily deterred.

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