Page 21 of The Devil We Know

A Pep Talk, Of Sorts

Jessica

“You one hundred percentsure you want to do this?”

The question comes out of nowhere, and I turn my head to see Tony standing over me.

I’ve been lying on this sofa for a spell, attempting to get my bearings from all the “training” that have been going on the last couple of days. We’ve done weapons training, speed training, lingo training—so many seemingly pointless exercises I wondered a few times if they were fucking with me. Tony evenled a very brief stint in torture training, something I am not ashamed to admit I did not withstand at all.

Needless to say, this entire endeavor has been a lot, but since I know there’s no way around it, I’ve been doing my best to take it all in stride.

I say nothing in response to a question I’ve been asked a dozen times before, and after a beat, Tony adds, “I know I razzed you hard over it, but you still have time to get out of it.”

I sigh, then frown as I sit up, placing my feet on the floor. I give him an assessing look, much like the one he gives me most of the time, and then snort as I reply, “It’s too late for that.”

Raising his brows, the corner of his mouth twitches as he says, “It’s never too late. You can walk out of here right now and never have to think another thing about it.”

“But I would know,” I reply firmly. “I would know I walked out and turned my back on someone when they needed me. That’s not something I can live with.”

He lifts his shoulder dismissively, his lip turning up as he scoffs, “Who fucking cares? It’s not really your problem.”

Now, I’m annoyed. I glare at him, then shake my head. “I didn’t rearrange my entire life to come here to then not follow through, so whether you agree with it or not, I’m gonna do it.”

“But why?”

“Why not?”

He cocks his head at me, presses his lips together before replying, “It’s really worth risking your life for?”

“Yes.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” he says flippantly. “You choosing violence to protect yourself or your closest friend is one thing. But sneaking into a secure facility of some seriously dangerous people is ludicrous.”

“You don’t have to understand it.”

“But I want to understand it. I want to know what would possess you to put your own life on the line for the likes of Matt.”

“Matt was there for me when I needed him, and that was when he didn’t even know me.”

“Sounds like Matt,” Tony responds with a laugh. “Always the Boy Scout.”

Rolling my eyes a bit, I laugh humorlessly. “Yeah, that’s what I’ve been told. But I know without a doubt if our situation was reversed, he would go in there and get me. Blindly or not.”

“That’s different. Matt knows the life. Matt knows the risks, and he has the training and experience that makes the odds in favor of his success.”

“Is that why you’re giving me a hard time right now? Because I lack the expertise and the experience, and you’re worried I’m going to end up dead?”

Tony sighs. His shoulders relax a bit, and then he steps closer and plops down on the sofa beside me. I turn my body so my back is pressed against the side armrest and pull my feet up, hugging my knees to my chest as I watch him.

After a few moments, he turns and looks at me and says, “I just don’t want something to happen to you and then have Matt destroyed.”

“Destroyed? That sounds kind of extreme.”

“Let’s not pretend he won’t be upset if he comes out of whatever bullshit he’s part of and finds you no longer exist.”

I shrug as I reply, “And if I don’t do this? I’m supposed to be okay with doing nothing, then havinghimnot come out of it alive?”

“Yeah, this could easily be a lose-lose situation, no matter how you cut it.”

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