Page 10 of The Devil We Know

The only reason they didn’t choose this path was because they were scared.

And they should be.

This is also just another example of the path to hell being paved with good intentions.

Not that my good intentions negate the fact that I’m a cold-blooded killer. Some people would try to argue that cold-blooded is a bit of a stretch, given how closely I have edged between good and bad, but at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, I have no qualms about shooting somebody between the eyes to save my own skin.

I suppose that’s probably a little simpler than the actual truth, but since we’re talking simplistically, that’s what I’m going with.

It’s going to take me some time to adjust to my new life. No longer having to toe the line, I can basically do whatever I want.

It’s amusing for me, considering I’ve always been labeled the geek of the group. Tony would even go so far as to call me soft, accusing me of being in love with all of my tech stuff and being incapable of the same atrocities that he is.

The fact of the matter is that he has no clue who I am. At least, not truly.

Darius, on the other hand, has a rather accurate idea of who I am. He’s a giant pain in the ass, but he’s incredibly observant, most often when you think he’s not paying attention.

He’s also likely to recognize himself in me, something a lot of people wouldn’t be able to see at all.

That’s because I’m more of a high-functioning psychopath than anything else. I didn’t even realize this was a thing until later in life when I started to do more research on my own personality traits. I didn’t think it was possible to be clinically insane and also have a conscience. It isn’t even so much that I’m driven by my conscience as the fact that I’ve always chosen to lead with it.

But now, here I am, sitting on the cusp of a new beginning, trying to decide which path I want to go down.

The path of the straight-laced family man is lost to me. I’m not saying I ever considered that path as a real option or that I would even want to do it, but when sitting here contemplating what I like to think are my many choices for the future, I have to put it on the list. Only to immediately strike it out, which kind of annoys me.

After signing my resignation paperwork, or my early retirement package as they like to refer to it, I had to acknowledge there were still things going on in the background that had to be tended to.

There were still people within the force who would like nothing more than to see me punished. People who know I know they’re not truly on the right side of the law.

And then there are the many people in the criminal world who would most definitely like to take me out permanently.

Which leaves me with one choice: Kill them all first.

When I first broached this subject with Darius and Tony, they rolled their eyes a bit. Tony mostly because he probably thought I was just talking, and Darius because he may have thought I was overreacting, but after a thorough discussion, they both recognized I had valid points, and my plans suited an ending that we’d been looking for most of our lives.

But what they wouldn’t sign off on was me going about it alone. Because we’ve always been a team and going it alone is dangerous.

Which means they’re going to be furious when they realize what I’ve done.

They were the ones who reminded me I had one loose end that could pose a serious problem, given they would likely become a target if my enemies found out about her.

Jessica.

We met under such unusual circumstances and somehow forged an untenable bond I never dreamed was possible, making it unlikely I could ever forget her.

Then there’s the fact that I’m obsessed with everything about her.

I’m not one to give too much merit to Antoinette’s fascination with romance novel tropes, but I’m certain she would have a field day with our relationship if ever given the chance.

We’ve enjoyed several months of secrecy, sneaking off whenever possible and losing ourselves in each other. When we’re not together, we’re basically in each other’s pockets, calls,texts, and the kind of constant dialogue that would have Tony rolling his eyes and gagging at how gross we are.

Like two young people in love.

The thought of having to stop makes my chest hurt. The thought of having to hurt her without explanation makes me inexplicably furious. The thought of her inevitably getting over it and moving on makes me tremble with emotions I’d rather not even address right now.

So, knowing Darius is correct, I realize I have no other option but to cut her loose, even knowing this could mean she’ll just move on and no longer be available to me once the dust settles.

I pull out my phone, bring up our chat, and scroll back, smiling as I read over our previous conversations. Some are serious, some comical, some sexy.

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