Page 42 of A Fine Line

“Did you tell him the cat was gonna be out of the bag? Because, conveniently, the fucker’s not answering his phone or calling anyone back.”

“I haven’t spoken to him recently. He might answer me, but if his phone is turned off, I assume he’s probably working.”

“Matt and his fuckingjob,“ I snarl. “What a joke.”

“I don’t know why you get so angry about Matt’s day job,” Lilith says. “No point in denying a man his dream job.”

“He’s a fucking criminal.”

Lilith scoffs, her hand waving around as she replies, “Oh, pish-posh. So, the man fights crime with a badge, and then drops the badge to fight crime where the law can’t reach. Personally, I think it’s perfect.”

“She has a point, Tony,” Nettie pipes in. “He basically has access to the best of both worlds. He uses his above-board contacts to dig up whatever information he possibly can, and then scrubs the bottom of the barrel to see what’s missing. No stone left unturned.”

“You know what,” I say snippily. “I don’t care right now. As soon as I see that lying motherfucker, I’m gonna kick the shit out of him. He let you mourn your mother for months. He watched you cry for months. That’s unforgivable.”

Lilith rolls her eyes at me obnoxiously, then sputters, “Oh, for the love of fuck, Tony. Calm down. You’re being very dramatic.”

“Dramatic? I’m being fucking dramatic?” I look at Nettie, and then at Agatha, and then back at Nettie and ask exasperatedly, “Am I being dramatic? Do you not fucking care that Matt sat back and let y’all mourn your mother’s traumatic death for months when he could’ve told you she was alive?”

The two women look at each other for a moment, and then turn to me, and Aggie speaks first. “I agree with Lilith that it’s likely a lot more complicated than that. Obviously, if I view it from a purely emotional perspective, it’s shitty. But I also don’t have any great attachment to the woman having never really spent any time with her, so I don’t have much of an opinion either way.”

Then Nettie adds, “Aggie’s right. Emotionally speaking, it’s fucking shitty, but we know we can’t look at anything from a purely emotional perspective. If nothing else, we know Matt, and if he had any way that he could have spared me the pain of losing her, I believe he would have. Likely the only reason he kept it from you and Dare is because he didn’t trust either of you to keep your fucking mouth shut, and, frankly, he’s not wrong there.”

And now I’m offended that she’s insinuating that I can’t keep a fucking secret. “Are you fucking serious right now? I’m not trustworthy?”

“You are obviously exceptionally trustworthy; however, sometimes you tend to be a bit of a hothead and shit falls out of your mouth because you’re mad. And you would’ve been really fucking mad about this.”

Aggie nods in agreement. “Super fucking mad. You totally would’ve taken it personally, and whenever Tony Andersen takes something personally, fucking shit happens.”

I’m still gaping at them, so I snap my mouth shut and grind my teeth together in annoyance. I want to argue further, but the basis of their argument is sound. I can be a fucking hothead. And they’re also correct in the fact that Matt would’ve made the all-around best decision instead of the knee-jerk-reaction decision.

Sometimes, I fucking hate that guy.

I turn back to Lilith and ask, “So, Matt is the only one who was in on this? The two of you managed to pull off the biggest fake out ever?”

Lilith smiles broadly and nods. “In all honesty, it was mostly Matt. He’s a fucking genius. If you ever wanna disappear, he’s your man.”

I groan loudly, turning away from them and staring at the ceiling as I work on getting control of my urge to punch something. There’s a tug on my pant leg, and I look down to see Flora beside me, looking up at me expectantly. I turn toward her and ask, “What do you want?”

She says nothing as she pulls on my shirt with one hand and raises the other one in the air. Then Aggie says, “She wants you to pick her up, dumbass.”

I reach down and scoop her up, glaring at Aggie as I mutter, “Yeah, I know that.”

But of course, I didn’t fucking know that. I don’t know the first thing about kids. I was barely around kids when I was a kid, and now, this little sprite is wrapped around me like a spider monkey, and I’ve got this heavy fucking feeling in my chest, and I want to stab myself in the eyeball.

I’m muttering to myself, and the entire room has fallen silent. I glance around and see they’re all watching me. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

They all shake their head, and they all say a variation of, “No reason. Nothing.”

Flora cuddles closer, her face pressed against my neck, and my urge to run screaming from the building increases tenfold. So, I turn to Lilith and say, “Let’s cut to the chase here. You believe Carolina is dead, right?” She nods, and Flora stiffens in my arms. I rub her back and press my face against the side of hers and whisper, “Don’t listen to her, princess. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

I turn back to the three woman and say, “We’ll go with that theory. Which means the best way for me to hunt down whoever is responsible is for me to start knocking off the people on those lists she gave me, one by one. So, that’s what I’m gonna do. You all have two jobs right now: one, watch Flora—you do not let her out of your sight.”

I turn to leave the room, and Nettie yells from behind me, “What about the second thing, asshole?”

I pause in the doorway, looking at her over my shoulder as I reply, “Stay the fuck out of my way.”

And then I exit the room with Flora in my arms, slamming the door behind me.

---